You Don’t Need It All Figured Out — You Just Need a Mentor
No matter how driven, talented, or independent you are, there comes a moment in every woman’s career when she realizes something powerful: success isn’t meant to be a solo journey. Behind almost every accomplished woman is someone who helped guide her along the way, a mentor who offered perspective, encouragement, and accountability when she needed it most.
Mentorship isn’t just for those at the start of their careers. It’s equally transformative for women who are redefining their goals, changing industries, or stepping into leadership. Yet, for many, the idea of finding a mentor can feel intimidating. What if you don’t know what to ask? What if you’re still figuring things out?
The truth is, mentorship doesn’t require a perfect plan or a polished résumé, it starts with self-awareness and a willingness to grow.
Mentorship Begins with Self-Awareness
Before seeking a mentor, it’s important to know yourself, your goals, frustrations, and what kind of support you need. But that doesn’t mean you need every detail mapped out. Many people start from uncertainty, and that’s completely normal.
Urmi Hossain, a finance professional and co-chair of Women in Leadership, Montreal, has mentored and been mentored herself throughout her career. She believes mentorship often starts when you’re a little lost. “Sometimes people think they need to have it all figured out before reaching out for help,” she said. “But it can start with something as simple as, ‘I want to launch this business. Here’s what I’ve thought about. What do you think?’”
That small step, asking questions and being open to guidance, is what allows mentorship to work. Urmi emphasized that mentors aren’t there to hand you all the answers. Instead, they help you uncover what you really want and identify the roadblocks standing in your way.
Self-awareness makes this process more effective. The clearer you are about what you need help with, whether it’s confidence, leadership skills, or career direction, the easier it is for a mentor to guide you toward growth.
How to Find the Right Mentor
Finding a mentor doesn’t have to be complicated or formal. In fact, Urmi recommends starting with curiosity and conversation. Look for people whose careers or paths you genuinely admire and start small.
“Search someone on LinkedIn whose journey inspires you and ask for a 30-minute chat,” she suggested. “That’s it. Be genuine. Most people will say yes because people love talking about themselves.”
This simple yet powerful approach removes the pressure that many people feel when networking. You’re not asking for a long-term commitment or a grand gesture, you’re starting with a genuine conversation. Urmi calls this “speed mentoring.” Sometimes, a short coffee chat turns into an ongoing relationship; other times, it simply gives you clarity and confidence to take your next step.
When reaching out, it’s best to personalize your message. Mention what you admire about their work or experience, and be specific about what you’d like to learn. Instead of asking, “Can you be my mentor?”, try questions like:
“I’ve followed your work in finance and would love to hear about how you navigated your career path.”
“I’m exploring a new field and admire how you transitioned into leadership. Would you be open to sharing your experience?”
Mentorship isn’t about titles or hierarchy, it’s about connection. The right mentor will challenge you to think differently, guide you through tough decisions, and remind you of your strengths when you forget them.
A Two-Way Commitment
While mentorship can be incredibly rewarding, it only works when both people are engaged. A mentor can offer insight and accountability, but the mentee has to bring initiative and follow-through.
Urmi shared that she’s seen mentorships falter when mentees treat them casually or expect quick results. “I’ve had situations where I was the one chasing my mentees,” she said. “But it’s not me who has to achieve the goals, it’s them.”
Effective mentorship is built on respect, consistency, and mutual effort. As a mentee, come prepared for meetings, communicate clearly, and set goals. As a mentor, listen actively, provide guidance, and encourage growth rather than dictating steps.
The best mentor-mentee relationships evolve over time. They’re not limited to short-term problem-solving, they’re partnerships that inspire both sides to keep learning.
Mentorship Beyond Career Growth
While most people seek mentors for career development, the benefits often extend much further. Mentorship also fosters personal growth, confidence, and emotional resilience. A great mentor can help you reframe setbacks, recognize your value, and push you beyond your comfort zone.
Urmi believes mentorship should be seen as a long-term investment in yourself. Even as her own career has advanced, she continues to seek out mentors for new perspectives. “You can have multiple mentors at different stages,” she explained. “One might guide you in leadership, another in personal growth. The point is to keep learning.”
This mindset reinforces a powerful truth: mentorship isn’t a one-time exchange, it’s an ongoing dialogue that adapts as you do.
The Power of Connection
At its core, mentorship is about connection. It’s about one person’s willingness to share their knowledge and another’s courage to ask for help. It bridges experience and ambition, turning uncertainty into opportunity.
You don’t need to have everything figured out before reaching out to someone. Sometimes, you just need to say, “Here’s what I’m thinking. What do you think?” That small act of curiosity can open doors you never expected.
Whether you’re just starting your career, navigating a big transition, or stepping into leadership, mentorship offers perspective and support that can make all the difference. The right mentor won’t just guide you, they’ll remind you of who you are and what you’re capable of becoming.
If you’re curious about how to find a mentor, approach them with confidence, and build meaningful connections that help you grow, listen to the full conversation with Urmi Hossain on the So She Slays Podcast, available on all major streaming platforms, or watch on So She Slays YouTube channel!