What Women Who’ve Lived It Want You To Know About Success, Love, and Starting Over
There’s something deeply refreshing about hearing life advice from people who’ve lived long enough to laugh at the pressure we put on ourselves. No self-help guru slogans, no trend-driven TikTok hacks—just real stories, hard-won clarity, and the occasional reminder to chill the hell out.
That’s exactly what unfolded when we sat down with the women of Retirement House. You may know them from their viral videos and quick-witted one-liners, but behind the cameras are women who’ve navigated divorce, widowhood, career pivots, unexpected fame, and decades of growth. What they had to say about success, aging, and relationships was as insightful as it was entertaining.
Success Isn’t One Thing—And It’s Not a Straight Line
For many of us, success feels like a checklist we’re trying desperately to complete before some invisible deadline: get the degree, land the job, find the partner, buy the house. But for these women, success has shapeshifted countless times—and the idea that you only get one shot at it is laughable.
“I thought success meant having a good job, a house in the suburbs, getting married,” said one cast member. “I got the degree—but none of the other stuff happened. And that was okay.”
Instead, success became about raising children, taking creative risks, and learning how to love themselves in ways they hadn’t been taught when they were younger. Another added, “I started directing documentaries in my 50s. It became about telling stories that mattered to me. That’s success.”
The common thread? Adaptability. Each woman had moments where life took a sharp turn—divorce, career changes, the loss of a partner—and instead of resisting, they followed the pivot.
“I was a casting director for 30 years, and I didn’t even plan to be one. It just happened because I said yes to a chance I didn’t expect.”
The Pressure to Get It Right in Your 20s Is Useless
If you're feeling behind, overwhelmed, or unsure whether you're “doing life right,” you're in good company. But according to these women, those feelings don’t mean you’re lost—they mean you’re alive.
“I remember thinking I had to have it all figured out in my 20s,” one shared. “But honestly, I was just creating my own prison with expectations. I had to tear it down, bar by bar.”
Others echoed this, saying they wished they hadn’t spent so much time obsessing over whether they were on the “right path.” The idea that you have to pick one version of yourself and stick with it forever? That’s not wisdom—it’s fear in a different outfit.
One woman even packed up and moved cross-country to escape the stagnation of being treated like a child in her hometown.
“My parents were lovely,” she said. “But I needed to go find who I was outside of all that. So I left the East Coast and started over in California. Everyone told me not to—said nobody reads there, nobody thinks—but I knew it was what I needed.”
That choice changed her life completely.
Getting Your Life Together Might Look Like Playing Pickleball
At one point, the conversation turned to the elusive idea of “getting it together.” What does that even mean, really?
Their answer? Do what you enjoy. Get out of your house. Meet new people. Not everything has to be strategic or goal-oriented. In fact, it probably shouldn’t be.
One woman shared, “I joined a ukulele club—not to get good at it, just to have fun. Then I joined a knitting club. Now I go biking on my electric bike. That’s what getting it together looks like to me.”
Another added, “I live in a smart building with a million activities: lectures, Ted Talks, morning workouts. I do what I want. I’m busy. I’m happy. I don’t need a man to feel full.”
That sentiment—of fullness without attachment, of joy without pressure—is a thread that runs through much of what these women believe. It’s not about fixing yourself. It’s about figuring out what you like and doing more of it.
You’re Never Too Old to Want Love—But Know Your Worth
Romance, of course, came up. Not as a punchline, but as a real and ongoing part of life—even after heartbreak, loss, or long stretches alone. Some are dating again. Some are content. Some are just hopeful that, if love comes, it’ll be from someone who respects how far they’ve come.
“I was a single mom of two teenage boys for 12 years with no help. That part of my life was a blur—but I did it.”
Another chimed in with a familiar frustration: “Men our age don’t take care of themselves. I don’t want to start a relationship taking care of someone who won’t even go to the doctor.”
The honesty was biting—but real. These women are still open to love, but they’re no longer compromising their joy for it. They’ve done the work. They’ve earned the peace.
And if it comes down to choosing between mediocre company or solo satisfaction? They’ll pick the latter every time.
For more real talk on success, identity, aging, and finding joy in every chapter, listen to the full episode of the So She Slays Podcast featuring the women of The Retirement Podcast or watch it below.