Why I’m finally coming out

You might find this bizarre, but I’ve been hiding a very important part of myself for a while. And now, it’s starting to feel like something is eating away at me from the inside-out. I have to come out and stay out for good.

No, I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that - some of my best friends in the whole world are gay. (I can’t help but chuckle to myself as I’m echoing the people who defensively remark, “I’m not racist, I have a Black friend). Colt, Rob, Shiva: you got my back on this one? Cool.

Ok, I digress. What I’m really yearning to come out and say is this:

I am destined for Greatness. I know I’m called to do something really friggin’ big in the world and that scares the bejeezus out of me.

But what scares me even more is living another day where I’m not spreading my light and sharing my truth with those who need it. So that’s why me and my greatness are coming out- right here and right now.

Many years ago, I was venting my life’s frustrations to a friend, and it just slipped out of my mouth: “I just know I’m destined for greatness.” He snapped back, “Wow, that’s really arrogant!” I couldn’t even blame him, my boldness shocked me too. But, afraid and unprepared to carry the weight of my calling, I allowed myself to shrink down, so he could feel more comfortable with who I was.

You see, I have a long history of shrinking.

By the age of 12, I was well on my way to becoming an Olympic level gymnast. In fact, my dream was to be the next Dominique Dawes. I was that flippin’ good - pun definitely intended. The pressure was mounting as the difficulty of my routines escalated. Intrusive thoughts that I wasn’t good enough slipped through the cracks in my resolve and buried themselves in my mind. Paralyzing fear would seize my body. Moves I’d done a thousand times before suddenly felt like leaping to my certain, excruciating death. Eventually, I reached a point where I couldn’t endure the never-ending internal warfare. So, I quit gymnastics and let go of my Olympic dream.

That was the first time in my life I shrank - crumbled, rather - in the face of the greatness that lie along the path before me. And even now as I write this 20 plus years later, I find myself tearing up because my heart is still raw from the self-inflicted wound of defeat.

You might already know this, but life will continue to serve you the same lesson until you finally learn from it. *SPOILER ALERT: I didn’t learn my lesson the first time.*

Now, fast forward to my gap year between undergrad and med school. Not many of you know this, but in that time, I started my very own Mary Kay business. Yeah, that’s right. Me, the woman who never wears makeup. I quickly rose to the top as one of the most successful team builders in my unit. I couldn’t explain at the time why I loved it so much, but now it makes perfect sense. Mary Kay brought to life two integral parts of my being: my drive to succeed as an entrepreneur and my passion for empowering other women.

But again, the pressure was mounting. It was a race against the clock to earn my pink Cadillac within a year, before med school took over my life. As time ran thin, self doubt and fear insidiously crept in, and my confidence sheepishly slipped away. What am I even doing building a skin care business when I’m supposed to be saving lives? What are people going to think of me - a Mary Kay lady “posing” as a doctor? So, I did what any “rational” person would do. I gave up my hot pink pipe dreams, started med school, and endured the next four years, kicking and screaming every step of the way.

Mind you, I’m so grateful that I got my MD. It’s an undeniable label of authority that I now get to leverage positively however I wish. I got off the traditional Medicine bandwagon and created a Functional Medicine practice that empowers people to take ownership of their health and heal in the most holistic way possible.

As I plan how I’m going to scale my business so 2019 is my most successful year yet, my goal is to make myself a household name in the health and wellness space. But again, fear has been making a nasty comeback, making me second guess every bit of content I attempt to create. Just ask the So She Slays team how long I’ve been promising this article!

So, here I am now at another critical juncture. I can step up and fully own my greatness, shouting it from every digital rooftop that I’m a total friggin’ badass when it comes to helping people make radical transformations in their health. Or, I can shrink away into the shadows once again, using my very rational excuses that I’m too busy with patient commitments to post on social media consistently.

But, I know damn well that my dream is to help millions of people in my lifetime, and I can’t do that by hiding and staying comfortable. I’m coming out, once and for all, because I can’t let this God-gifted greatness within me go to waste. There are too many lives at stake.

So my friends, here are 3 very important takeaways I hope you bury deep in your heart and never forget.

  1. You can do whatever the hell you want to do. If it’s in your heart, and it fills you up with a raging fire deep within your core, you need to do it. If there’s anything I learned from the experiences I shared with you today, it’s that part of you dies when your dream dies. Especially when you’re the one sentencing that dream to death.

  2. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed for being the total badass you are. If you feel tempted to shrink down to meet a “friend” on their level, then they don’t belong in your life. We call those “friends” haters. You deserve to be around people who cherish your light and help you shine even brighter.

  3. And finally, don’t ever let a temporary failure become a permanent defeat. The only guaranteed way to fail is to quit, but eventually you’ll stumble upon success if you keep moving forward. I know you’ve heard ad nauseam how Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times when he was creating the incandescent light bulb. But, take a minute and really think about what that means. Ten. Thousand. Friggin’. Times. I don’t know anyone with that kind of grit, yet all of us possess the same innate mental faculties as Edison. The next time you want to throw in the towel on that genius idea of yours, look up at the light overhead and know you could forever impact the course of history, too.

Finally, I’m out - I’m GREAT, and I’m proud! Now will you join the movement? Comment below and share what makes you a total badass! I’d love to celebrate you, and I’m sure your fellow Slay Baes would, too.