How many friends do you have that live in unhealthy, co-dependent relationships? You certainly have several couples like that around you, and even though it’s something that you see from time to time, it doesn’t mean it’s the right way to be in a relationship. Having your independence is a crucial factor for a healthy and steady romantic relationship, and if you don’t know how to achieve that, we’ve come up with several tips to help you. It’s very important to have a healthy relationship as it allows for both people to not only grow together, but also grow independently as people. So, what are the things that you have to bear in mind?
Don’t put pressure on your relationship
You probably never wished for your relationship to have more pressure, which means that this p-word is definitely not welcome in relationships. Having unrealistic expectations can lead to your relationship being in a trap. Moreover, since we live in a time where we are constantly under work pressure, a relationship should be the exact opposite. Never pressure your partner into anything, as it can backfire in unimaginable and catastrophic ways. Rather spend that time actually talking to them and seeing together what your goals and wishes are.
Don’t ask for your partner’s approval
Asking for your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s approval to do a certain thing is definitely a thing of the past, but it can find its way into the relationships of today. This becomes even more pronounced if you’re trying to survive a long distance relationship, which can be quite challenging. People who are in such relationships tend to ask for approval more often, probably due to the fact that misunderstandings are much more difficult to solve while the other person is miles away. The key to this is being honest and open, so that your partner believes you completely. Asking for approval will definitely not solve anything, nor will it make your relationship stronger.
Don’t forget your emotions
Never underestimate your emotions, and work hard to learn to recognize them. Not to go all Marilyn Monroe on you, but your emotions are an essential part of you, and if somebody cannot handle them, it means that they are not worth it. However, there are certain instances where you will have to keep your emotions for yourself, but the important thing is that you feel them. Use meditation and yoga to help you deal with this, and always use a nice and kind approach when showing your emotions, as it will make you much more independent. However, if you are struggling to do it on your own, try finding yourself a life coach - it will help you to accept things about yourself and your emotions that you already know, but much faster. Or you can even find some retreat program oriented to self-conscious and love conscious,
Take your partner’s point of view into account
One of the most important things for being independent while in a relationship is understanding and taking into account your significant other’s point of view. It’s completely normal for couples to have a different opinion on a certain topic and respecting that while still clinging to your own is crucial. Not only is it the right thing to do, it is also a step closer to achieving independence in your relationship. So regardless of how much your point of view differs from your partner’s, if you can’t change it even though you know he’s in the wrong, let it be. Understand it and respect it.
Support each other’s goals
Love is important, but so is respecting the life direction that your partner wants to take. This will show both him and yourself that you know how to be a good partner, and unless this direction is not one that you can follow, you should definitely support it. However, no matter how radical this direction might be, such as moving to a different city because of work, your job of a good partner is to support it, first of all, and then think about other possibilities and solutions. After all, you would definitely want him to support your life goals and to do these things for you.
Keep your passions
Another quite important factor for maintaining your independence in a relationship is keeping your passions and devoting yourself to them. Having a hobby is never a trivial thing, and having this one thing for yourself can be very healthy. First of all, it will keep you the person you actually are, and secondly, it will serve as some time off from your relationship, which is something that’s very much advisable. Even though you will share all of this with your partner, make sure not to lose touch with the things you love and the passions you have.
As you can see, you don’t have to be co-dependent to be in a healthy relationship. Actually, it’s up for discussion if co-dependent relationships are healthy or not – but no matter how much you love each other, always keep that small dose of independence as that is what makes you who you are.