Why Catching a "Fever" is Fun But Not Forever
I am in a stage in my life where I am very content, I am stable, happy (for the most part), surrounded by love, chasing my dreams, juggling it all and I am with a wonderful person I can call my partner.
It is funny because I never thought I would see the DAY come where I would happily be ‘someone’s other half’ as we say in England and feel truly invested in that.
I have learned many lessons and kissed a few frogs (that some may say were rotten to their core) – but what I have learnt the most in my relationship now and what I am most proud of: is how authentic I am to my true self with my partner.
It is this, which is of the highest value in any given situation and is ultimately why he is so easy to love and give love to. I smiled when I read TRASH quip me as “dispensing advice as the soulful Fairy Godmother of relationships” – it is funny to think other people see you that way. But what I am about and what my music tries to emphasize is forming and upholding that intimate relationship with you.
I caught a ‘Fever’ as it were in my early 20’s teens and my god did it end disastrously! The ending marked the beginning of my journey to self-love. I began to look inside of myself and ask seriously probing questions:
· Why are you consistently choosing/attracting the wrong type of guy?
· Is that choice masking unresolved issues within you?
· Do you choose someone who won’t be able to treat you right because you want to hurt?
· Is that what you believe you deserve?
I was 21 and I still say to this day that was the most pivotal year of my life so far (closely followed by 2016 post another breakup where I went to Peru and finally decided to do music!!). My spiritual path begun, I got my degree I realized accountability for my actions and I cried. I cried and cried and cried and did some important soul work. I became Queen of being Single – no one could touch me- I am indestructible - I am strong – I am – I am – I am catching another ‘Fever’ for a completely different guy.
We were in Lisbon after meeting each other a month before and boy I let that ‘Fever’ take me and it was exhilarating.
Thoughts I remember: I am alive, I am young, I am free, and I am doing what I want when I want.
Memories I now have: I was young, I was naïve, I was foolish, I was reckless, I was lost and looking for someone to love me.
I see that now.
Why do we catch fevers for people? Why do we get immersed in in a sickly sweet dance with the devil and come back wiping tears but begging for more?
Because it’s easy. You can have a life and it can genuinely just happen to you and people will walk in with their own agendas because you haven’t done the work yet to figure out what you want.
Because we haven’t developed the emotional maturity to understand how to look after ourselves. Or maybe because we know what’s good for us but we can’t be bothered and we’re bored.
Because we don’t respect our love. Because beneath that danger and darkness lies someone who needs love and you think you might be able to love them back to a healed place. BECAUSE WE AIN’T GROWN!! You can be 60+ still doing the worst for your soul, or you can be 24 doing the most–this kind of ‘maturity’ isn’t relative to age.
If I could give anyone any relationship advice: focus on healing yourself, focus on your dreams and focus on finding someone who serves you at your best.
We all need to catch Fevers in life – so we can hit the studio and write jazzy songs and make colorful retro videos. Haha no? Well maybe just me.
But we all need to catch ‘Fevers’ because they are lessons to be had. But lessons they are- ‘Fevers’ aren’t forever. Bad Boys you are so 5 years ago.