Get really good at saying "no" so you can get really good at saying "hell yes".

It happened again. You're laying in bed, scrolling through your phone and while that motivational quote you read the first time was good, it's come through five times now and you know you've been laying there for longer than you care to admit.

You break out of your phone-hugging, fetal position and emphatically turn to lay on your bed with your arms t-spread, phone still in hand. You stare up at the ceiling and let out a sigh.

You just feel tired. Deflated. And you don't know why.

Oh, but you do. Deep down you do.

You said "yes" again. You said "yes" when you really meant "no".

You told your boss "yes" when she asked if you could take on your co-worker's project and work the weekend to make sure it got taken care of by Monday -even though it meant that you'd miss the convention that you've been looking forward too, to help you grow your side-hustle.

You said "yes" when your friend asked you to go out for a drink because she said you haven't been in forever β€” even though you've been secretly saving for a condo in that new development downtown. You didn't want to be a bad friend.

You said "yes" without words when you smiled and hugged that guy at work who went in for a hug even though you just saw him yesterday. It's not a big deal right?

You said "yes" when you meant "no".

You got used to saying "yes" to accommodate other people, to perform a role, to make things flow. You learned that "yes" gave you some opportunities, maybe favoritism, a feeling of fulfillment, even importance.

And wait, there were times you said "yes" when you didn't even realize that you meant "no", didn't you? Because once upon a time, you learned "yes" as a preset, a default, a blurred boundary line between yourself and the world around you.

And all this time, you've said "yes" too many times, not realizing how incredibly powerful you are and that when you say "yes" to one thing, you automatically also say "no" to another.

The words "yes" and "no" are a light switch. ON. OFF.

You will either light up your goals, dreams, visions and focus on creating the life you want to live, or you will put other people's priorities before you, and turn your self-determined, true-to-you expressions and opportunities to OFF.

So what if saying "no", came more naturally to you? What if the inherent belief in your value and capabilities, and your daily dedication to focus on your goals and dreams and actions, meant that saying "no" would be one of the most SELFLESS things you could ever do?

Do you believe that you have something to offer? Even if you're still trying to discover what that something is,  you can feel it deep down inside of you. You know you have something to offer, which is why you ache. At worst, you feel nothing. You yearn to feel passion and meaning in your life. You want to feel real.

So let me ask you this:

How can you empower your spirit, energy and mind if you are constantly saying "yes" to the world and saying "no" to the essence of who you are, what you want, and who you can be?

Saying "no" isn't about being difficult, overly aggressive, or holding false power over others. It’s not about putting yourself first in all situations, and it certainly isn't about being selfish.

Saying "no" when you mean "no" is about focusing your energy on your being, on your growth, on blooming, and discovering and sharing your unique essence and gift in this world by simply living your authentic life.

Because in getting really good at saying "no", will leave you room in your life to get really good at saying "hell yes" to people, opportunities, and actions that align with your heart, soul and mind.

Cindy-lou SchmidtComment