I need help...and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Right now, I am over my head and need professional help. It's a taboo topic to talk about in minority communities. We're supposed to be strong. As women, we are told to keep it moving. But, I just can't.

So, I am seeking help. We're not meant to burden tons of pain. It took a drastic event and some time to make me realize that I was wearing a facade for a couple of months. I took a hard look and realized it wasn't real nor is it healthy. I feel overwhelmed. A burden. And depressed.

As someone who is always reading self-improvement books, I found this idea very difficult to comprehend. I thought I had it all together. As I am in the waiting period for my first therapy appointment (yes, I said therapy) I did what I do best, and researched. Somehow I found myself on YouTube listening to podcast after podcast and came across Lewis Howes' channel and his interview with Lisa Nichols on The Key to Abundance and Success. It changed my life. 

Like me, she too sought therapy for her depression and was handed a prescription to Prozac. She wanted to give herself 30 days to work on herself before she took that prescription. One of the biggest things she did was every morning she looks at herself in the mirror and says these three sentences; I am proud that you, I forgive you for and I commit to you. After each sentence she lists seven things to proud of, to forgive and to commit.

So, I thought I can do that. How hard can it really be? Let me tell you it was quite rigorous and I broke down in front of the mirror. I forgave myself for things I didn't even know I was holding onto and it continues to be a learning experience. For some reason, I have an easier time coming up with things to forgive myself for rather than to be proud of. Even though I know there are tons of reasons to be proud, it's difficult to verbalize that aloud. 

It's something that I am working on and will continue while in therapy.

If there is anyone you know who is depressed and/or suicidal please help them seek the proper help.