Since when did being single become a bad thing?

I've officially hit the age in which getting married and “settling down” are what all the cool kids are doing. Majority of my friends are married or are in a steady relationship. And with my younger brother's wedding gaining speed off in the distance the fact that I'm the only one without someone seems to be at the forefront of all recent comments.

In some way I guess I should be flattered that they care enough to worry about me but honestly I just find the comments annoying. I’m not going to lie I know that I’m low key insecure about this topic but I think it’s because of all the pressure that is placed upon it by others.

I’ve always managed to march to the beat of my own drum in life and I don’t think that my dating life should be any different.

I work hard for the things that I have and go after what I want in my life. It’s this line of thinking that I’ve always considered to be a successful one. To not put too much emphasis on having a relationship, to take that energy, passion, and time and use it to create a life you love. So why am I feeling like now my success in life is amounted to whether or not I have a man on my arm?

For someone that prides herself on being strong and independent this statement hits hard because it’s the first time that I started to compare my life to others. And I know if I was practicing my positive self talk I would be telling myself, “Girl stop trippin! You’re giving these people way too much power over you.” And although I believe that to the fullest even the strongest of us have those thoughts of, “why am I single?”

Ha! Girl if I could answer that question I wouldn’t be writing this article. However. I think I might have a theory.

Honestly, if you’re a strong woman, focused on your career, and creating a particular life for yourself chances are you have a pretty specific view of what you would like your significant other to be. Lord knows if you know exactly what you want professionally you probably know exactly what you want personally.

Some may call us picky or say we have high standards. But the way I look at it is if I’m doing my best to create my dream life then hell my significant other better be doing the same damn thing. He better knows the value of an independent and opinionated woman because that is exactly what he’s are getting. He should be just as ambitious and strong as I am and yet understand the value of having me as a partner and vice versa. There is no “I” in team ladies. We want someone who can compete on the same level and set goals just as high as ours.

So the next time you’re feeling the single ladies pressure or that little voice pops in your head asking you why you’re single? Remember it’s because you know what you want and you won’t settle for anything less. You’re not asking for the impossible. You can accept flaws, we all have them, and you can compromise but you will only do so for the right one.  

Heather YoungComment