A Bumble MF Moment

Yes, I was on Bumble.  

I hate to admit that even though everyone and his or her mom is easily on Bumble with no shame.  

The backstory: It with a dare from a few friends to jump into the online dating world. After hearing about their “newfound and amazing” relationships and how one friend even suggested if she were not engaged she would “totally jumped online for dating,” I decided why not.

Why not? These two words will or have gotten every person in his or her life in trouble. After much debating internally with this choice I gave in. The exact moment when my friends were picking out my photos to put up on this newfound adventure Within 10 minutes, I was up and running. We were swiping away, and I have to admit it was addicting. Within minutes you get a “BOOM” aka means you two find each other attractive.  Oh, yeah the best part is that you aka the woman has to make the connection first! So the passively shy person I am but a cute flirter came out to play. I would just type “hey, how are you.” It sounds so simple. Within the 24-hour waiting period, you have to wait for your “new BOOM” to response.  Oh, the glory.

I can't or to be honest will not count how many times I got sucked into engaging in Bumble conversations.  I have to admit I had a good “following” on this online dating endeavor. I had countless conversations with these men and even saw a few friends on this app.

I gave seven men my real phone number. These seven guys were the real MVPS at the moment of obtaining my number. Which also means I was fooled seven times. I have one fuckboy who hits me up to “come over text,” but we never met. (Trust me we will never come over) I have one constant “pen-pal texter” which we never met, but I know how his car doesn’t start or his plans for his sisters birthday dinner.  I had one guy who acted like a bitch because you’re not able to hang out aka drive to his location to hang out because all girls should, of course, drive to a man for the first date. (Say no woman ever) I had two guys who love to pop up outta nowhere and be all adding you on Snapchat like we are homies, but we never met in real life. And yes I had the 2 in real life dates.

Let me tell you. I went on two dates. Yes, only two because what a time to be alive. (Yes, I quoted Drake.)  No worries, I will discuss in horrid and comedic detail in later posts.

Overall Bumble is a series of pen-pal text messages. You engage with these people on the regular or non-regular basis.  You deal with their the “good afternoon” and other annoying bullshit we do in online dating. Just now you can cheat and remember every single detail of every guy from looking back on the past conversation. It makes the new word “benching” easier.  

But I have to admit I do miss the swiping and seeing the ”BOOM”; it makes you feel “ooh you still got it you sexy girl” for that quick moment. Sometimes I would just swipe right because I knew that man would like me. I knew his type, and that was ME!

Online dating was great to pass the time when bored, like at work and watching TV.  I get why people get addicted to online dating.  I had to end that relationship.

Maybe I will go back; I’m young and tired of hearing “why are you single” or “why are you so focus on your career.”

The keyword is maybe.

Chauncey WoodsComment