Moving Away

When you stay at in the same city all your life, it just doesn’t become your home city but also a friend. A friend who has given you endless memories and has all your loved ones there.


I moved away from home about two months back. It was a big transition for me because I just didn’t move cities but I moved countries. I’m miles and miles away from home. It is an expensive long flight to go home.

But moving away for you may be difficult but it is more difficult for the ones you are leaving behind for they are in their home environment without their person and you miss them as well but you have the new place to explore, new people to meet and all the other things.


Checklist when you are moving away.

  • A message for your loved ones. Doesn’t have to be written one. Just a gesture or a voice note.

  • Constant texting and calls back home so that they get used you to being there

  • Life updates on personal texts or social media

  • Settling in at your new house

  • Socializing with the new people

  • Taking responsibility

  • Learning to adapt

  • Find a new comfort place where you can go whenever you feel low, could be something that reminds you of home or just something that soothes you.

Comment down below if you think I missed something and suggestions for people who just moved like me

Female Entrepreneurship’s Threats and Opportunities


From Rihanna and Fenty Beauty, Kerr’s Kora Organics, Ariana Huffington’s amazing platform, to such fashion forces as Stella McCartney, Tory Burch, DVF and numerous emerging designers who are crushing it in the fashion industry, we ladies are showing the world we are a force to be reckoned with. Maria Grazia Chiuri said it best with her T-shirts – ‘the future is female’ and we couldn’t agree more. Sure, there are still some obstacles and misogynous prejudices and stereotypes we have to overcome, but if we ladies stick together, we can rule the world and achieve complete and total equality. Yet, despite the force being strong with us, when it comes to the Fortune 500, there are only 24 female CEOs, which means the battle is just beginning. It’s not about throwing men of the throne, it’s about sharing it, as equals as we are, and today is all about that. We will dive into the world of challenges, threats and obstacles that are hindering the success of existing and potential female entrepreneurs of the now, as well as tolls and opportunities that can help foster our success. We will learn how to take advantage of the latter and diminish the former, so let’s do this.

Still outnumbered


Aside from a couple dozen companies that are run by females as well as those in which the majority of the workforce is comprised by women, and which provide great work conditions, women are still outnumbered, especially in the leading positions. One of the major disadvantages is walking into a seminar or a boardroom that contains countless men and just a handful of women. When put in such a situation, we feel unnerved, and almost compelled to adopt an aggressive macho masculine demeanor. To be harsh, and what they most like to call us: ‘bossy’. It’s a catch 22 really – if you aren’t assertive, then your voice isn’t heard, and if you are, you are called ‘bossy’. So how does one break away from this vicious cycle? Just be who you are. Develop your own management style, stay true to who you are, and if assertiveness is in your nature, be assertive and unapologetic about it.

Limited funding  


According to Babson’s study, ‘since 1999, women entrepreneurs have made considerable progress in obtaining venture capital, however, a wide gender gap persists’. Despite enormous strides, ‘85 percent of all venture capital–funded businesses have no women on the executive team’. Ironically, those companies that are led by women perform equally as well as those run by men, so there isn’t a clear explanation as to why women still have limited access to funding when wanting to dive into entrepreneurial waters. If you read all the data, you will find the numbers quite disheartening. So, how do we deal with this challenge? We need to showcase our success, make ourselves visible and turn to organizations which are committed to supporting female entrepreneurs, especially those organizations led by women, which are all listed in the conclusion of the study. Females helping females – that’s how we make it happen.

The typical challenge


Yes, despite our degrees, our knowledge, skill, business-savvy, and the fact that it’s 2018, we still have to fight to be taken seriously, especially when we find ourselves daring to enter a male-dominated industry. Not to sound bitter, but dear men, we don’t want to steal your sandbox, we just want an equal spot in the playing field. We have to work twice as hard to prove ourselves worthy and professional, and the worst part, we have to believe in ourselves when no one else does. This seems to be the hardest part. The negative things are always easier to believe, so maintaining confidence in your wit and your abilities in a world full of doubters and nay-sayers can be quite taxing. We have to develop thicker skin and let the criticism and doubt just roll off our shoulders.

The perks of the Digital Age


Luckily, the digital world is genderless, and we can always count on it. In order to develop and enhance our businesses, we can use all the perks that digital platforms and business software have to offer. There is Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook, which are here to help us promote our business, amazing female web designers who can follow our vision, create a logo, a brand story and just ‘click’ with us and make our vision come true. Of course, there are also such tools as the incredible apparel ERP software that can help us with everything from inventory management to enterprise resource planning.

The perks of being female


With the increasing number of female owned companies listed above, we now have many opportunities to rely on our ladybosses for guidance, networking and perhaps even the kind of support that goes beyond the ‘moral’ kind. Ladies lifting each other up and creating a strong female entrepreneurship network is the best chance we have of succeeding. However, in order for this to work, there has to exist a healthy dose of competitiveness, but not the ugly sabotaging kind. This is why it’s crucial for the females to stick together and not tear each other down. Male entrepreneurs are welcome to lend a helping hand, we are not trying to be exclusive, but for now, in female power we trust.

Yes, we seem to be facing more challenges than opportunities at this moment. However, as there are constructive solutions to hurdling these obstacles, as well as an amazing set of opportunities, we firmly believe we can turn this around, and make the Fortune 500 list loaded with successful women’s names by the year 2020.

The One Women's Empowerment Journal Truly Changing Lives

I started to think, if we aren’t celebrating our wins, who will? How can I create something to remind women who they already are and help them to start their days in a much stronger and more centered way...
— Samata

They say, “perspective is everything.” And truly I don’t know anything more self satisfying as taking the time to get to know yourself and what drives you to be the person you are. It’s time we all need to take and yet a lot of us don’t or don’t know how too.

This is why So She Slays can’t get enough of THE TRIBE™ Empowerment Journal. Created by Samata, founder of THE TRIBE™, this bag sized journal is filled with not only thought provoking questions of self but inspiring quotes, mind maps, as well as space for reflections, and intentions. If you’ve ever wanted to learn more about yourself this is the journal to help you do that.

We had the chance to speak to Samata herself about THE TRIBE™ Empowerment Journal and the impact it’s made on her life and others.


Well, I had to go through some seriously hard miles. I mean, I had to really go there. This includes being 41 weeks pregnant in a truly rough pregnancy, being 1 year sick and 1 year feeling super down.I spent a lot of time traveling when I was low (short trips around Europe), and got so much perspective. Throw in some therapeutic relief and good intention and this journal was born. It really came from a place of seeing how no one ever seems to feel like they are enough, and how we focus on what we aren’t, who we aren’t or even forget who we have been. I don’t blame social media, but it doesn’t help. It’s always about the next thing so we never have time to celebrate our wins in life -  personal or public, big or small, properly. I started to think, if we aren’t celebrating our wins, who will? How can I create something to remind women who they already are and help them to start their days in a much stronger and more centered way - before reaching for their phones.


What is your first doubtful thought, and how will you quieten it - this one is so powerful because we often give weight to the negative thoughts more than the positive ones. Helping women realize what that first slither of doubt is, and helping them nip it in the bud early can help them have a better day and just feel more content with themselves, as they are.

It’s all about realizing that we are enough. There is so much more than the questions though...I mean it’s handbag sized, offering 432 pages of thought-provoking content. There are daily celebration spaces, intentions, questions, quotes and mind-maps, plus plenty of space for reflections and ideas too. I wanted the women using it to journey through engaging stories and 19 empowering lists, and be inspired by extracts from 10 interviews with women from THE TRIBE™ global community, a diverse representation of ages, ethnicities and industries - including science, art, fashion, business and activism.


Any and every woman who is ready to shift her mindset and start being kinder to herself, about herself.  I always say that every single interaction I have had with women has brought me closer and closer to the formation of first  THE TRIBE™ in 2016, and now THE TRIBE™ Empowerment Journal. When I say that I mean it - I see how we talk about ourselves, other people and the way we beat ourselves up, even when we are still doing so much! I love the answers my TRIBEsters gave about who should use it in this video - one says, and I am paraphrasing here, ‘Any woman who doubts herself’ and another said ‘Every woman, it’s a gift of love and I want all the women I know to receive it’.


I learned that I want to do good things in the world, and that I can kick things over the line! I have so many ideas and projects literally 98% done which I have not finished because I doubted myself too much. That might be hard to believe by my recent work has been with Suzy Amis Cameron for Red Carpet Green Dress, her incredible vision. It’s not the same as me believing I can do something on my own - the last project I released was the Fashion Designer’s Resource Book in 2013. Whilst writing in it, I learned that I am way too self-critical, almost to a crippling point. I need to ease up on myself, I’m doing good.


Women are under way too much pressure and we aren’t celebrating ourselves enough. A few years ago I read the Women Under Pressure White Paper. Thousands of women were questioned and I found the results so depressing. Basically, even though we are under more pressure than generations before (think about women now juggling family, work and possibly a second job too or trying to start their own businesses!), we have fewer outlets to release tension through and see fewer positive messages of encouragement. I believe, that now, more than ever an environment of positivity, acknowledgement and encouragement is needed. So,’s super important.


Through for £25.99 - and make sure you follow @THE___TRIBE!

To get a little more insight into just how powerful THE TRIBE™ Empowerment Journal is take a look at a group of women who’ve used the journal for a year and saw some of the most amazing results.

A Letter to All the Girls


A few weeks ago, my cousin and I had a small falling out. I realized that the root of the issue stems from the fact that she does not realize her value as an individual and she feels lost, alone, and scared. The night that we had our disagreement, I wrote this letter, not just for her, but to any girl that feels the way she does.

This is a letter to all the girls.

This is a letter to the girl who is not sure of her worth.

You are an amazing human being. No matter where you are in life right now or what you have done, the latter statement holds true. All the decisions you have made up until this point were for a reason. Yes, you may have made mistakes, some bigger than others, and you may have regretted them, but those mistakes have transformed you into the incredible person you are today. At this moment, you may feel broken, but in my eyes, you are unbreakable. Each hardship you have encountered has molded and shaped you into a resilient human being. Life is not always easy, you know this to be true, more so than others, but the universe throws the worst situations at the best people—because they can handle it. You can handle this and you will get through this.

You are a powerful entity. Once you decide to risk it all and step away from whatever, or whoever is holding you back, this letter will always be here for you. These words are a reminder that everything will be okay. You will not always feel alone, or empty, or sad. A year from now, you will read this letter and you will remember the pain you felt and how you thrived from the adversity. In time, the old you will feel so distant and foreign that it’ll be hard to even grasp the idea of the girl you used to be.

This is a letter to the girl who is scared to be alone.

Remember that you are here today because of a woman. Your mother gave life to you, and regardless of the quality of your relationship with her, she is the reason you are alive today. The very fact that women can bear life means that you are born with a powerful gift. Women have a natural ability to empower and love others in a way that a man cannot. Instead of leaning on a man for comfort, why not lean on the women that have gone through the same experiences as you and have grown from their struggles?

You may be in a relationship right now, with a guy who does not recognize the fire and potential inside you that I do. Just know that you are worth more than broken record sounds of “You’re beautiful” and cheap “I love you[s]”. You are worthy of someone who will not dull your shine and who will not build you up just to tear you down; someone who will never make you feel like you will be lonely and helpless without him. Real love does not harbor hatred or jealousy or insecurity or fear. Love is not forced nor is it questioned. So if you are unsure if what you have right now is love . . . you already have your answer.

Trust me, take the time to be sad and alone. There is a difference between “alone” and “lonely”, and there is nothing wrong with sadness. It’s an emotion we feel so we can have something in comparison to happiness—without sadness, happiness would have no meaning. Sadness in solitude is a time that you will learn more about yourself than you, or anyone else, has ever known. You will learn which people truly deserve to have a place in your life and it will be easier to spot authenticity in a sea of artificial love. You cannot accept love until you learn to love yourself, so take the time to learn how to do so. You will learn to give yourself the best kind of love and will realize that if someone cannot reciprocate the same, that person is not worthy of your time or of your heart.

This is a letter to the girl that needs a reminder.

I know you may not have heard these words often throughout your life, but you are loved. You are loved by me and I appreciate you for all that you are. I see how hard it is for you to get out of bed each day and to show up to class or work and put a smile on your face, when you are really falling apart at the seams. This letter is my recognition of all the hard work you have put into your life thus far. Every action you do and every word you say has a purpose and you possess the ability to achieve greatness. I have faith in all that you are in this moment, and the person you are slowly becoming. I don’t worry about you, but not because I don’t care. I don’t worry because I know you will soon step into the person you were born to be. When you are ready, I will be waiting, and these words will be a reminder of how far you have come.

This is a letter to all the girls.



Backhanded Compliments

  Photographer : Jimmy Uy (@amare_media)  Model : Jazzmin (@jazzminarius)

Photographer: Jimmy Uy (@amare_media) Model: Jazzmin (@jazzminarius)

We have all received them—the backhanded compliments. What exactly is a backhanded compliment? Well, it’s statement that is 50% bitchy, 50% nice, and leaves you feeling 100% confused. Did she just compliment me . . . ? Or was that a low-key, passive aggressive diss. . . ?

Backhanded compliments can be received from a surprisingly wide range of people: the mean girls in high school, your coworker, your snooty mother-in-law, or even your best girlfriend, and they are pretty difficult to maneuver. Honestly, if we all followed the golden rule of “say something nice or don’t say anything at all” this wouldn’t be an issue, but we don’t, and that’s what the So She Slays ladies are here for. Throughout years of backhanded compliment receiving experience, I have learned that though I cannot change, or “fix” people, I can only work on myself and how I handle these unfortunate situations.

Here are my 3 tips on how to handle backhanded compliments:

1. Empathize


I am a sensitive person and I am not afraid to admit that. When I was younger and encountered backhanded compliments, my self-esteem would instantly get obliterated. I would get a sinking feeling in my stomach from the sadness and confusion. Instead of focusing on thoughts like, Wow, what’s her problem or What’s so wrong with me that she decided to say that?, I now try to empathize with the person giving the backhanded compliment. People who are not happy with themselves break others down to build themselves up and it’s truthfully quite sad. Instead of becoming angry or offended, I now try and focus on the why. Why is this person saying this? Backhanded compliments often come from people that are insecure and insecurities come from a place of immense pain. We must learn to empathize with those that are lacking inner strength and happiness.

2. Respond with kindness


No matter how people treat you, your reaction to a person or a situation is a true sign of your character. Even though backhanded compliments are annoying and hurtful, remember to continue to be the best possible version of yourself. Ladies that slay all day handle uncomfortable situations with grace. The next time you receive a backhanded compliment, try responding with genuine, kind words. Remember, empowered women empower women!

3. Address it


Now I know most people advise to ignore backhanded compliments or any “negative vibes” a person may give, but I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say address it! Unfortunately, I feel that most backhanded compliments come from our closest friends and family and they may not even be aware that they are doing it or of the pain it causes you. Remember to stay calm and open when addressing these types of situations, as responding in defensiveness or anger only adds fuel to the fire. A simple, Thank you for the kind words, but the last part of your statement actually hurt my feelings, can make people more aware what they say and how it is received; you may be surprised at the outcome! If the person does end up responding negatively, then you should ask yourself if they should have a place in your life to begin with.

At the end of the day, just keep on slaying ladies. For every backhanded compliment you receive, just know that the So She Slays community is here to give you twice as many genuine ones.

With lots of genuine love,


You're So Real

To be a woman, in general, is already difficult, but to be a black woman is a whole different story.

Black women can't win in the corporate world.  We are forever tokens.


As a black woman, you are already taught you to have to work twice as hard.  For instance, I have a Masters degree, worked for many top companies; but I am making the same salary as a recent college graduate with no work experience.  Mind you, I live in Silicon Valley, so this is pretty sickening.

Being a black woman in a corporate office is a story that no one wants to speak about too openly. Refinery 29, has published several articles about being a black woman in the workplace.

Recently I read the article Be Your Authentic Self At Work — But Only if You're White.  I felt a deep connection, and it frightens me on how we, as black women, are still dealing with this on a daily basis.    Shockingly, we are considered professional if we are well spoken, and we are versatile.

For many workers of color, code-switching, or altering the way one speaks and acts depending on context, becomes the norm in order to make coworkers and superiors more comfortable. - Refinery29

Most of us always have heard the comments  "you're so real” and “we know you have no problem expressing your feelings.” 

Ironically,  the phrase " you're so real " is a facade to stay away from being that stereotype. You know the one when we are the" angry, loud and we clap when we talk" black woman stereotype in the media.  We are not stereotypes we are individuals.

We switch our language, tone, hair, fashion and so much more to fit in at work.  We give this facade to remain accepted into the cooperate world.  For instance, I know I hold myself back from saying certain things or speaking a certain tone that can come off as "too black" when it is not the case.  I know how I am inside work and outside of work.  Inside of work I am very professional, nod your head,  friendly and funny. Outside of work, I am still well-spoken with more a realness in my voice and actions; I don't do the nod your head-- I tell it how it is.

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One coworker has said to me "we know you are very blunt and I know we have worked on toning it down." Excuse me, and I am not blunt at all at work; if I were, I wouldn't have a job. But you know what my response was? It was a giggle and a head nod aka accepted and noted in my head how dumb she sounds with that statement.

The real question is, why do we have to feel captivated by our race? Why are we not allowed to show emotion at work?  I’ve been taught never to reveal too much emotion at work or reveal too much of your private life. You are not allowed to show weakness or to cry at work. You have to stay strong, but you need to show empathy. It’s a tough role to act.

We as women of color need to break this ongoing issue we have all witnessed or experienced in the workplace. We need to start an open conversation with all of our female coworkers from different races who are continually participating in behaviors on how we can suppress this behavior.

We need to become a support system for each other and let someone be their authentic self without stereotypes. We need to stop pre-judging someone for the way they talk, dress or if their hair is now longer from yesterday aka a weave. Please accept us for who we are in corporate world. We've worked hard to be here. We made it this far being our authentic selves, let us do that at work.

We promise we will make you still feel comfortable.

ComplexCon Thoughts

The So She Slays team had the pleasure of attending this year’s ComplexCon held in Long Beach California. This being the 3rd Annual ComplexCon and our team’s very first time experiencing the world of Complex brought to life we thought we would share with you some of our take a ways.


“My favorite part of ComplexCon was being around dope individuals who are empowering people in a genuine connection. That we learn from our “L’s” aka our losses and need to make sure we show empathy towards negative individuals.”


“My favorite part of ComplexCon was getting to listen to the Complex Conversations and getting to be apart of a live typing of Open Late with G-Easy. Listening to all of these in-depth perspectives on how important it is to really be self-aware was so inspiring. I’m a tad bias and think that the Complex Conversation panel entitled, “Women Behind the Lens” was by far my favorite piece about the entire event just because I can relate to it so much and it’s such a relevant topic.”


“From Yara Shadidi to Hype Williams, the Complex Conversations were my favorite part. I learned how to not worry about other people’s opinions and to make sure I allow time for self care. My least favorite part about Complex Con was the amount of people in attendance. Although I as able to have a chance to experience my favorite role models intimately, I wish I could move freely around without feeling like I would lose my spot or wouldn’t be let back in. Despite that minor disappointment, after leaving ComplexCon, I felt ready to take on the world.”


“My favorite part of ComplexCon was hearing the common message from all the speakers: Be your most AUTHENTIC self.


“My favorite part of ComplexCon was the fact that the event was for all genders, bg, and influencers not just for people with money. It was a place to look towards fashion or learn fashion, food, music, lifestyle, and learn from others. It’s also good because street wear is becoming a fashion statement and it’s not all about high end. It was great to see people hustle to get what they want in terms of clothes. Okay this is getting deep…low key my favorite part was hearing about people getting into it over a Diamond Supply.”

In October We Wear Pink

“On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

“And on Wednesdays we wear Pink.” 


We all know these famous lines from the classic Mean Girls. 

I love that movie, but I will forever have mixed emotions about this day. The day I almost felt like I lost my best friend or the day that saved her life.

On October 3rd, 2012 my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I will always remember that day.

You never want to hear someone that you love to say "I have cancer."

That day my life changed. I still can't put into words all the emotions I felt. The wrench in my heart, my faith, the idea of possibly losing my best friend is still a confusing time for me even to speak on. 

My mom has been cancer free for over 6 years. She went thru, surgery, chemo, lost of hair and radiation. She is the strongest person I will ever know. I always like to say that my mom did the whole cancer thing like Samantha from Sex & The City. Just fabulous.

Sadly, we all have been touched by breast cancer in some form in our lives. We all have known someone, a family member, a teacher or even a friends parent we saw love have to fight this disease and some have lost the battle.


Breast Cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women, affecting about 1 in 8 women.

Real Talk: The most common symptom of breast cancer is a new lump or mass. A painless, hard mass that has irregular edges is more likely to be cancer, but breast cancers can be tender, soft, or rounded. They can even be painful. For this reason, it is essential to have any new breast mass, lump, or breast change checked by a health care professional experienced in diagnosing breast diseases.

Other possible symptoms of breast cancer include:

  • Swelling of all or part of a breast (even if no distinct lump is felt)

  • Skin irritation or dimpling (sometimes looking like an orange peel)

  • Breast or nipple pain

  • Nipple retraction (turning inward)

  • Redness, scaliness, or thickening of the nipple or breast skin

  • Nipple discharge (other than breast milk)

We need to find a cure.

We need to come together and save our loved ones from this disease that has torn families apart. 

Wear your Pink Ribbon. Donate. Walk. Support. Volunteer. Or simply just give someone a hug and say I am with you. We will fight this together.

If you’re looking to support breast cancer research, prevention or awareness.       

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It's A Contract: 4 Reasons Marriage Is Like A Business Deal

Marriage: you either love it, hate it or it scares the sh*t out of you. I fall into the last category.

I like to think this is because marriage is something I take extremely seriously and not so much my dad's choice words of, "your life will be over," echoing in my head.

I've never been one to rush or jump into something as life altering as marriage. Although my dad's warning may be dramatic, he does have a point.

Marriage is life-changing. Now, not having been married... ever, it's hard for me to tell you exactly how it changes, but this is something friends and family who are married (or have been married) can all agree on.

When speaking about or deciding to get married, I often wonder why people aren't more diplomatic about the choice.

Sure, love is wonderful and fulfilling, but it can also be an illogical emotion that sometimes leads us to make decisions we wouldn't necessarily make on our own accord.

If marriage is viewed as a business deal, might it be easier to fully examine your relationship and its potential?

Love is a tricky and complicated business, so it should be treated like one.

Here are my reasons why marriage should be seen as a business deal:



Essentially, when considering marriage, you are considering a merger between two people.

In any business merger, it's expected to fully examine the other business' history, direction and any other influencing factors that may affect the both companies before they agree to anything. When speaking of relationships, the same principle can be applied.

Marriage is often expensive and can be loaded with potential problems if everything isn't taken into account: families, careers, kids, future goals, money — the list could go on and on.

It's important to know exactly why you want to get married and what you expect from it.

Everyone's vision of "happily ever after" is different and finding someone who shares your vision will only strengthen the merger.

There is such a thing as going overboard with the list of wants and expectations and becoming way too focused on details, especially with relationships.

What I'm suggesting is determining your most curial, must-haves in order to make a marriage work. Remember, no one is absolutely perfect.



Clear and concise communication is a huge factor in any business deal and in a marriage. This is where both parties make their wants and expectations known to each other.

In doing so, both parties become fully aware of what they are getting into if they decide to go through with the merger.

I think when considering marriage, this is the part where things can get hazy. Lets face it: Not all of us are great at communicating and some of us are too afraid of what may happen or what our significant others will think after everything is put out there.

If the latter part of that sentence plays a part in your reasoning for not being completely open... well, I would really think hard about whether you're ready for marriage.

For the most part, a lot communication fails fall into the category of, "well I thought you knew." Never assume.

Be brutally honest; know what you want and make it known. If everything is out in the open, there is less room for miscommunication.



Now that both parties are aware of what the other wants, it's time to reflect on what is being offered to you and if it matches what you are offering.

I know this sounds completely harsh and practical, but who wants to be in a marriage where there is only one person bending over backward to make it work.

When this happens, it's a serious recipe for disaster. The weight of the relationship falls on one person, which often leads to feeling taken for granted or unappreciated.

In a marriage, you want to have an equal partnership, not someone who doesn't pull his or her weight.

When negotiating, weighing your pros and cons and voicing your concerns are the only ways to reach a compromise.

Knowing what you want only makes things easier when it comes to determining what you are willing to compromise on and what you can't.

However, don't become solely focused on just yourself instead trying to find a way to satisfy both of your needs together.



This is when all terms are agreed upon, all concerns have been addressed and compromises have been reached.

In other words, you get to say, "I do," during which cheerful couples refer to as the happiest day of their lives.

There is absolutely no foolproof plan for a successful marriage. Everyone is different, as is every relationship. But, knowing each other's expectations of a marriage from the very beginning can only help.

Love of course plays a big part in all of this - no one wants a loveless marriage. What I'm saying is that if you treat or view marriage as a business deal you can put your love aside for a second and be matter of fact and honest about everything else.


Article initially appeared on Elite Daily written by Heather Young. 

The Best Dos & Don'ts To Sending Wedding Invites

Although I've always been a bridesmaid and never a bride that doesn't mean I haven't heard my fair share of the complexities that come with sending invites.

From the guest list, to the color scheme, to the RSVPs, and the pressure of making the invitations absolutely perfect all while still remaining original is a lot to deal with. Not to mention all the wedding invitation etiquette that comes along with this whole process! I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it.

So to help those that are planning their wedding or are like me and have lots of friends that are recently engaged we thought we would team up with Basic Invite, an amazing website that lets you customize your own wedding invitations, to bring you the Do's and Don'ts of sending out the best wedding invites.



Your wedding invitation should give your guests the feeling of what your wedding will be like. Whether it be a casual affair, cocktail attire, or a black tie it's very important that your invitation reflects what your guests can expect while also staying true to who you are as a couple. Basic Invite is one of the very few websites that has an almost unlimited amount of colors to choose from and you can also preview instantly what the color combos will look like online to make sure you're getting the one of a kind design you like.



Just don't plain and simple. It's tacky and honestly that is information you can save for your awesome wedding website. If you want put your website link on the invitation that way guests will know where to go to get extra information including pictures, maps, wedding details, and even your registry. Since we all know weddings can be very expensive the fact that Basic Invite provides a FREE wedding website is amazing! With up to 180 different colors you can customize your website to look like your invite. Plus it's mobile friendly because honestly most of us use our phones to look up everything now a days.



I know this seems like a super small detail to fret over but trust me it just makes it easier. Sometimes getting the RSVPs back can be one of the hardest things. So in my eyes if you can make it easier for people to send you those bad boys DO IT! Plus, if you take advantage of the Seal & Send Wedding Invitations through Basic Invite you get the all-in-one invitation with a tear-of RSVP postcard. Meaning your RSVPs will already have the guest's address on it and all they have to do is fill out the card and drop it in the mail, no envelope required!



Ordering things like invites online can be a little scary especially if you've never done it before or you're like me and you have to actually hold the real thing in your hands before you make a decision. With Basic Invite you can get custom samples printed of your invitation before you ever place the final order. This means you can see exactly how the invite will print as well as the paper quality, which is huge because not a lot of websites allow you to do this.



Planning a wedding is already intense so it's important to streamline certain processes to make things easier. If you look for wedding invitation sets that include everything from save the dates to wedding inviations, enclosure cards, menus, wedding programs, and matching thank you cards you can get everything you need in one shot. Basic Invite has over 900 wedding invitation sets so there is no way you won't be able to find the perfect set just for you.

Overall rules of thumb when sending out your wedding invites: send your Save the Date six months before the wedding, send your actual wedding invite five to six weeks before the wedding, and send your Thank You cards out ASAP or no later than two months after your wedding.



Slay or Nay? Crazy Rich Asians

For a community starving for representation in Hollywood Crazy Rich Asians (CRA) delivers.

It won't be the first or the last time you'll ever hear me or someone else of Asian American descent say when it comes to film and television our stories sometimes exist but we as a people hardly ever do.

Growing up I remember I had two women I could look to if I wanted to see any resemblance of myself in movies or on TV, the Disney character Mulan, and the Yellow Ranger from the Power Rangers (we won't even talk about how racist that is - but it is.) To say there was slim pickings be would be a definite understatement.

This is why Crazy Rich Asians is such a BIG DEAL for Asian Americans.

To this day there isn't an "A List" Asian American actor in Hollywood. And if you ask any non Asian American to name you a handful of Asian American actors I bet you 90% of them couldn't do it.

With movies like CRA being made and backed by entertainment giants like Warner Brothers it only breeds hope that more opportunities for the underrepresented minority will follow. However, it also brings the sad reality that if this movie doesn't do well it could possibly set Asian Americans in Hollywood back.

For that reason I say Crazy Rich Asians SLAYS!

Now as for the movie, if you're a lover of RomComs and enjoy watching others living lavishly while secretly wishing that could be you, you should definitely go see this movie.

I had the privilege of attending a special screening of CRA before it's official release in thereaters on August 15th and here's what I thought. 

1. It's the Asian version of Cinderella.

I say this because the character Rachel Chu, an economics professor, is dating Nick Young, the only son in his family and heir to their fortune, sounds like Cinderella. However, the display of Asian culture, food, and family dynamics makes this very traditional story unique and oh so true for anyone who has ever brought a significant other home to meet the family. Side note all the aunties will definitely remind you of some of your own.

2. Where the eff did they find these beautiful Asian men?

Okay, so whoever found these men um, I gonna need to speak to you. There is one scene in the movie that involves a shower and a very good looking naked man. I straight up said, "Ooo excuse me" out loud in the middle of the damn theater it was that good. Not only were the men beautiful, the women were too. I believe I now have a girl crush on Gemma Chan who plays Astrid Leong. She walked on screen and all I could think was, "Wow she's gorgeous."

3. All the female characters are represented as strong women.

I love that all the female characters are incredibly relatable but also fight against the ridiculous stereotype of a submissive, obedient, sexy, Asian, whatever that is so often portrayed in entertainment. All of these women kick ass in their own way. I found myself cheering on the sarcastic comebacks, rooting for the underdog, relating to the struggles and sorrows of relationships, as well as understanding the protective nature of family. What can I say I laughed, I cried, I went through all the emotions.

4. I think Awkwafina and I should be friends.

Holy shit does she kill it as Goh Peik Lin. She is so freaking funny in this movie, her comedic timing is just spot on. Her comebacks, reactions, and they way she is there for her friend, Rachel Chu makes her character the absolute best. Everyone should have a bestie like that in their lives. Plus I feel like if her and I were ever friends I would one, have the time of my life, two probably get into a lot of trouble all at the same time.

5. Take away all the pressure of what this movie represents and it's still a good movie.

I will be the first one to admit that I love RomComs, not all but certainly enough. There is a formula to how this genera of movie works so if you're looking for this movie to hold some deeper meaning than what a usual RomCom does you're not going to get it. What I can say is, if you take away the fact that this is huge for the Asian American community and that this is the first film to have an all Asian cast in 25 years you still have a good movie because it's a good story. I went to this screening with a bunch of non RomCom lovers who just came out to help support the Asian community and even they found it to be a cute story.

Go check out Crazy Rich Asians in theaters everywhere on August 15th! Bring your parents, your significant others, friends and or your girls! Come out, represent, support, and help make sure diversity is something that is sought after in Hollywood. Check out the full trailer here!


Ranna Bigdely Slays


I met Ranna Bigdely in November of 2017. I spent a month getting to know her, then my partner accepted a job in another state and we relocated. Although I had been looking forward to this potential relocation for a number of months, I found myself disappointed and experiencing a feeling of loss over a very new friendship that would be left unexplored. Social media is a great thing and has allowed us to remain connected but Ranna’s friendship does not manifest itself primarily in the abstract. Her love and her intentions create a tangible experience. Ranna’s communicates beautifully with her words but where she is an artist is in her food

Ranna Bigdely is an Iranian American entreprenuer. On the surface, she is a café owner. Spend your lunch break with her and you will find she is also an educator and has a vision for how she wants to integrate that into her business model. With knowledge inherited from her Persian grandmothers, she is working to help others empower themselves over their health and become the experts on what they put in their bodies.


To understand Ranna, you must delve into her family history. On Ranna’s father’s side, they were orcharders. His mother was a professional healer and midwife, and she was paid for her work in chickens, spices, and fabric. She cured ailments, turned breached babies, assisted women through every step of the childrearing process, coached women through lactation difficulties, and aided infertility issues. Ranna spoke especially on the topic of turning a breached baby saying, “she could turn a breech baby from the outside…she used a fabric to perform the procedure. It almost always worked and was uncomfortable but not an especially painful process, which made her even more desirable as a midwife.” Physicians today would refer to this method as an external cephalic version (ECV). Modern physicians using this technique may find their patients experience quite a bit more discomfort than those who sought Ranna’s grandmother’s services. Just ask Kim K. (

Ranna’s people on her mother’s side were nomadic. Nomadic people are the original minimalists, though their lifestyle has been perfected to an art-form as opposed to a pop-cultural movement. Their way of life was not an experiment or an escape from a materialistic world. It was the only foreseeable option for many born into that lifestyle and their practices, particularly their homeopathic practices, were necessities. Her grandmother eventually moved to a village but she retained her healing wisdom that brought other villagers to her for health advice.


Ranna’s mother was outspoken and rebellious. Prior to the 1978 Regime change (the Iranian Revolution which replaced a pro-western monarchy with an anti-western theocracy), her mother worked for a literacy corp, which was created by the Shah. As the regime changed, the world she knew became more conservative…as did the uniform. She refused to comply with the newly enforced dress code and also refused to keep her opinions on the new government to herself. She had been paid with a living stipend which included coupons for groceries, and leaders in her community began to punish her by withholding her coupons and docking her pay. One evening, the Imam came to dinner and warned her that there were plans in motion for her to be made an example of. He warned her that she and her husband needed to flee the area.

That is what they did. Her mother and father sold the house in two days. They fled to the United States and began their new life in Oklahoma because it offered the most affordable international student tuition. Ranna’s father attended Langston University and Oklahoma State University. Her mother began college but left after giving birth to Ranna’s older brother. She later held positions as a nursing assistant and secretary.

Ranna was born in Stillwater, Oklahoma. Oklahoma is well known for it’s poor health statistics.In the United States, many of the leading causes of death are preventable (

In discussing her inspiration, Ranna said, “I realized in my mid 20’s that I came from people that had babies in the dirt and cured their own illnesses. Grew medicine, grew food. And I knew how to do none of that. And I thought…shit….don’t put that in there.”

“Can I please?”

“Okay, Well shit is what I felt so yes.”

She recalled a time when she was 6 and visited Iran.

“I became violently ill—I know now it was my body being exposed to different microbes my gut flora wasn’t accustomed to, and our bodies do not react well to that adjustment. To help make me better, my grandmother made me a tea. And it was putrid. She sweetened it but it was still vile. Thick and yellow. I don’t know what was in it because she was illiterate and nothing was written down, but I drank it. She had me sleep on my stomach and I woke up feeling so much better.

“Modern medicine made her methods common—peasant-like. Proper people went to the hospital. People were still coming to her until the day she died, but not like they did before her village became what some would call—civilized.

The way people lived—it was trying, it was challenging—but it was self-sustaining. They could hunt and gather, feed themselves, prepare their food. They lived off the earth. They didn’t eat the garbage that has become synonymous with the American diet. And, they handled stressors better because of the type of work they did every day. They moved around—none of this sedentary lifestyle that’s engulfed us today. They lived how people should live.”


Ranna preaches about balance, about the natural order of things. Eating food when it’s in season, understanding what herbs can do for your body. Wellness isn’t from the outside in—it comes from inside then makes its journey outward. If you are physically healthy, it will usually manifest itself in your emotions, lifestyle, and relationships. About 18% of adults in the USA have some type of anxiety disorder, and around 30% of them seek professional treatment. What if we can take control of some of that by being healthier?

I asked Ranna about seeking medical services. “I am not saying to neglect your kid. Take your kid to the doctor, take your kid to the hospital if it is an emergency! But if there isn’t a medical reason that you’re sleepy every day at 4:00 p.m., or can’t go to the bathroom, if you don’t have a sex drive…often these problems can be explained by what is or isn’t in your pantry.”

She is, like most of us, the product of a line of forgotten women, whose names are not the names you will find when searching the Internet for inspiration, but their footprints remain. To keep them alive, we must treasure those pieces of wisdom that survived generations prior to the world of social media. We are more connected than ever, but Ranna made me realize that many of us are missing something. She’s inspiring because she is on a mission to find it. She’s tapping back into her roots,


“Why are we unhappy in America? Why are we unhealthy? Okay, that happens, but why are we SOOOO unhappy and unhealthy? Why were people living simple lives happier and healthier than us.

This began my journey. I’ve put the word out so my parent's people know that I’m looking for information. Any memories or information or remedies, or food that no one eats anymore, I want it. I want to know everything. At first, it was slow going but bit by bit my collection has grown.”

Ranna gave me some insight on one of her biggest pet peeves in modern health remedies. “All these lovely people beside themselves with pain and discomfort and taking 6 turmeric pills a day. In healthy pursuits, they are bastardizing and destroying good benefits. Cook it! You would not eat an avocado pill, would you? Tumeric is best consumed with fat, black pepper and heat. Not in a gelatin or hypromellose capsule.”


How is Ranna encouraging wellness through what you eat in her community and empowering others to take charge of their life and their body? She went to an underground pop-up dinner and realized she wanted to do that. She realized she would need a commercial kitchen and found someone willing to rent their restaurant out to her at night. She cooked multiple courses of food, primarily Persian. She provided a little bit of food education including the history of the foods and the recipes she used. She’s taught classes at several venues including Whole Foods. One of the more recent events she put on was for 42 individuals at the Myriad Botanical Gardens in OKC. This led to her current role as an owner of the Paisley Café, a library café in Norman, OK. The Pioneer Library System recently received a government grant to combat food-related illness. Ranna was the obvious choice for one of their educators.


Ranna is in the process of starting her own teaching kitchen. One thing that will not be on the menu? Smoothies. Ranna calls smoothies pre-chewed food and a fad. She wants you to throw away the concept of a diet, stay away from food fads, and stop worrying so much about carbs. Eat mindfully, eat informed and eat with the intention to nourish yourself.

Ranna’s Inflammation Fighting Bone Broth

-Farmer's chicken or at least free range chicken if you don’t know a local farmer.

-Use Scraps. Like turkey carcass from Thanksgiving (save it) and make soup out of it. Or bones. Chicken wings. Buy a package of wings with skin, bones, joints, etc. I avoid beef because to get the joint of a cow bone it’s too large so they cut it into pieces and you miss out on the joint which has the marrow but missing on the collagen and gelatin.

-A pound of the chicken with bones and joints and skin.

- 1 c. chopped celery.

- 1 c. chopped carrot.

-1. c. diced onion.

-1 tbsp minced garlic. (4 cloves)

- 2 bay leaves

-1 tsp peppercorn

-1 tbsp Tumeric

-1 tsp salt

- 1 tsp of dried thyme or half fresh thyme.

- Cover with water plus inches

- Bring to a boil and turn down to a simmer for 4 hours.

After done, strain all of it out. Save the broth. You can freeze it, but it will last up to a week in the fridge. Drink it when you’re sick, fasting, or incorporate it into your daily menu.  

If anyone is interested in learning more or setting up a consultation with Ranna please email her at:

Jobs in Which Women Slay

Even though most jobs can be done by both men and women, there are jobs that women just seem to be better at. After all, we can all agree that there are many clear differences between men and women, including the way they think and solve problems, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that some jobs are simply more suitable for one sex than the other. If you’re wondering which jobs we are talking about, here are a few jobs that women excel at doing.



Whether we are talking about personal secretary or the company one, ladies usually do much better in this field of work. It might be due to being better at multitasking, but women are also better at being detailed and well organized. Moreover, the ability to listen and type at the same time can be invaluable to a secretary. Plus, the secretary is often one of the first people you would see if you were to enter a company building. This is why women’s natural charm is another reason for them slaying at this job.


Contrary to the popular belief, the fact is that men are not better drivers regardless of how many of them think they are. When it comes to driving, men are more prone to making risky moves like speeding or drunk driving, and thus, putting themselves and everybody around them in danger. They are also more easily distracted by their environment, which can be dangerous, since research has shown that about 8% of all driving accidents happen when the driver gets distracted. This is why no matter how much men love their cars, women will still be better at driving them.


Nobody can deny that men can be amazing teachers. However, women are naturally more sensitive, patient, caring, affectionate, and supportive, which are essential qualities when it comes to working with children. Most men lack the tolerance and patience necessary for the job, and children can be quite a handful. Although it may be true that men are less likely to venture into this field of work due to social pressure and stereotypes, even if that weren’t the case, women would still be better at it due to their nature.




Just like they are great at being secretaries thanks to their multitasking skills and tendency to be detailed, women are also great at being managers. Men are less likely to provide regular feedback to their employees and more likely to compete and focus on their own progress instead of making decisions that would benefit their entire team. They also have a hard time dealing with failures and accepting their own mistakes, while women are more patient and willing to listen and learn from experience.

Finally, women are better at investing money, because testosterone makes men more likely to hold on to their stocks and risk everything. Women, on the other hand, choose to play safe most of the time, which is why studies have shown that they have nearly twice the return as men. Speaking of finances, if you want to improve your knowledge, getting a certificate IV in finance and mortgage broking might be just the thing you need to improve your  financial game.

Fitness instructor

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Being a fitness instructor requires patience, meditation, breath control, the right posture, and the ability to relax. The benefits of fitness are not tied to either sex, but the female body often tends to be more flexible than that of a man. Moreover, men tend to get embarrassed and uncomfortable when required to do certain movements. These are just a few reasons why women are often better at being fitness instructors than men.



Research has shown that women are more likely to yawn when somebody else does than men are – which shows that they have a higher sense of empathy. They feel more affected by the feelings of the person they are talking to, which makes them great counselors. Plus, with their nurturing nature and the ability to listen, they are better at creating the right kind of connection with the person who needs their help. Also, women are generally thought to be more trustworthy than men, which is extremely important for jobs that are based on trust. All of these qualities can help the person seeking counseling open up, which helps the counselor do their job more successfully.


These are just some of the jobs that are generally better done by women than men. They rule these job positions and will probably keep slaying at them for a long time.


Slay Your Independence While in a Relationship


How many friends do you have that live in unhealthy, co-dependent relationships? You certainly have several couples like that around you, and even though it’s something that you see from time to time, it doesn’t mean it’s the right way to be in a relationship. Having your independence is a crucial factor for a healthy and steady romantic relationship, and if you don’t know how to achieve that, we’ve come up with several tips to help you. It’s very important to have a healthy relationship as it allows for both people to not only grow together, but also grow independently as people. So, what are the things that you have to bear in mind?

Don’t put pressure on your relationship

You probably never wished for your relationship to have more pressure, which means that this p-word is definitely not welcome in relationships. Having unrealistic expectations can lead to your relationship being in a trap. Moreover, since we live in a time where we are constantly under work pressure, a relationship should be the exact opposite. Never pressure your partner into anything, as it can backfire in unimaginable and catastrophic ways. Rather spend that time actually talking to them and seeing together what your goals and wishes are.

Don’t ask for your partner’s approval

Asking for your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s approval to do a certain thing is definitely a thing of the past, but it can find its way into the relationships of today. This becomes even more pronounced if you’re trying to survive a long distance relationship, which can be quite challenging. People who are in such relationships tend to ask for approval more often, probably due to the fact that misunderstandings are much more difficult to solve while the other person is miles away. The key to this is being honest and open, so that your partner believes you completely. Asking for approval will definitely not solve anything, nor will it make your relationship stronger.

Don’t forget your emotions


Never underestimate your emotions, and work hard to learn to recognize them. Not to go all Marilyn Monroe on you, but your emotions are an essential part of you, and if somebody cannot handle them, it means that they are not worth it. However, there are certain instances where you will have to keep your emotions for yourself, but the important thing is that you feel them. Use meditation and yoga to help you deal with this, and always use a nice and kind approach when showing your emotions, as it will make you much more independent. However, if you are struggling to do it on your own, try finding yourself a life coach  - it will help you to accept things about yourself and your emotions that you already know, but much faster. Or you can even find some retreat program oriented to self-conscious and love conscious,

Take your partner’s point of view into account

One of the most important things for being independent while in a relationship is understanding and taking into account your significant other’s point of view. It’s completely normal for couples to have a different opinion on a certain topic and respecting that while still clinging to your own is crucial. Not only is it the right thing to do, it is also a step closer to achieving independence in your relationship. So regardless of how much your point of view differs from your partner’s, if you can’t change it even though you know he’s in the wrong, let it be. Understand it and respect it.


Support each other’s goals


Love is important, but so is respecting the life direction that your partner wants to take. This will show both him and yourself that you know how to be a good partner, and unless this direction is not one that you can follow, you should definitely support it. However, no matter how radical this direction might be, such as moving to a different city because of work, your job of a good partner is to support it, first of all, and then think about other possibilities and solutions. After all, you would definitely want him to support your life goals and to do these things for you.

Keep your passions

Another quite important factor for maintaining your independence in a relationship is keeping your passions and devoting yourself to them. Having a hobby is never a trivial thing, and having this one thing for yourself can be very healthy. First of all, it will keep you the person you actually are, and secondly, it will serve as some time off from your relationship, which is something that’s very much advisable. Even though you will share all of this with your partner, make sure not to lose touch with the things you love and the passions you have.

As you can see, you don’t have to be co-dependent to be in a healthy relationship. Actually, it’s up for discussion if co-dependent relationships are healthy or not – but no matter how much you love each other, always keep that small dose of independence as that is what makes you who you are.

Wait, Dating Is Now A Job?

Yes, dating has become a job. Your new typical 9-5 job.


This past week at my actual workplace a few of my friends and I were discussing the trials and tribulations of dating. We all know these conversations that we all typically have at least a few times a month. 

In the middle of this discussion, one of my best friends said "we have to treat dating like a job."  

Honestly, I can say we all became silent because that shit was real.

I know I need to make an effort to date. I  work at a primarily female-dominated company, and the lack of men in the area low. Barely any options of men to flirt with at your local Starbucks. 

Yes, dating is a job. You are forced to make an effort to date in your adulthood. It is not like when you’re in school you easily are surrounded by potential significant others now we are adults. Another difficulty to add to the term “adulting.” 

We have to force ourselves to go out of our comfort zone. You have to make an effort to go out more, download dating apps, stalk your friends to set you up with someone,  go to more bars, etc. This process is considered the job search.


Once you finally find some potential significant others in the job search phase, you have to do the interviewing. We all know any interviewing is horrible. You have to get to know the person, remember to be interesting, be charming and hide any craziness for a short time. Sounds like a job interview huh? Well, it is because you are interviewing each other. You are trying to figure out if this a good fit. 

After you passed the first part of the interview process, you now have the 90 day probation period. This probation period includes following up texts, daily upkeep of stimulating conversation and to look your best at all times. You can not pull the ‘sweatpants and chill with no makeup on’ just yet. 


To date is a job. You have a job search, interview and the probation period. You have to make an effort to date.  

So welcome to your job, either you are job searching, interview, on probation or been with your job for a few years.

We see you. 

The Era of Women Entrepreneurs - How to Become One

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman
— Margaret Thatcher

Never before have women had the power they do today; never have they been as carefully heard, believed, acknowledged, and respected as they are today. But things aren’t done with yet. The dialogue has changed and so has the climate; we’re seeing a deliberate, conscious move forward, and we live for the day when talking about women’s rights will stop altogether, and the rights will just be.

We live for the day when the gender prejudice will stop, and we’ll be appreciated for our individual capacities, divorced from our gender, age, origin, or any other, commonly (ab)used a parameter. Or, in the words of Susan B. Anthony: “Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” And till that day comes we will continue to shine our brightest light, we will continue to empower our fellow sisters, we will continue to rise stronger, smarter, and wiser every day – both for ourselves and others.

For all of the women out there who are just starting out or have long been investing in their education and progress, in their truths, mindfulness, and growth hoping to become women bosses, here’s the list of the most important segments to consider:



Forget about “You don’t have it in you”


Remember this: no one is born an entrepreneur, a business mogul, a boss; one becomes that. Change your mindset from “I can’t” to “I can”, and you’ll change your life; act on your idea, and you’ll win.

To get to the point where you don’t even need to introduce yourself because people know who you are, you’ll need to work a lot. Do know that success doesn’t come over night, not unless you are chasing temporary acclaim. Building an empire takes years, it takes wisdom and experience; it takes failure and potentially starting over a million times. But, you can do it. Prepare yourself mentally for the battle ahead, the one you may lose with yourself (and others) plenty of times, but the one that will pay off in the long run. Don’t let anyone catch you off guard and tell you that you are not cut out for this. Let your ambition, your intellect, your business plan and perseverance take you straight to success.


Have a clear idea, and a proper plan


The fact that you like the IDEA of being your own boss, and actually BEING one are two different things. You need to have an ACTUAL IDEA for the business you want to run and a proper plan explaining the execution of that idea.

  • Lay out the idea and do the research on whether it already exists; if it does, find your way around launching it differently

  • Find someone experienced to help you out with building your business plan; an advisor is your best bet as they’ll help you make a realistic plan based on your budget, envisioned dynamics, etc.

  • Get mentally prepared for the fact that you won’t have a proper ROI for about two years from the moment you start

  • Find investors or silent partners willing to start the collaboration

  • Put your short-term and long-term goals on a list, and do your best to honor them

  • Take one sheet of a3 paper and write down previous five points; put them in the most visible place and update it every time you make a change in your plan.


Decide on your managing style and stick to it


One thing’s for sure: your college/Uni education is the perfect base for your entrepreneurial endeavors but it is not the answer to everything. When you get into university and graduate, you are king; when you get into an office with no leadership style whatsoever, you are the weak link.
Entrepreneurship and working with people is like humanity itself: it keeps changing and evolving, it keeps challenging you – and, unless you get on with it, say goodbye to your empire. So, to keep things structured, decide on your managing style and the type of boss you want to be:

  • What’s going to be your relationship with the employees?

  • Do you plan on being tough or (too) friendly?

  • What will be your hiring/firing style?

  • Will you be a boss or a leader?

  • Will you adopt a male leadership style or embrace the female leadership approach?

These and similar questions are what you should think about.



Fight gender-based discrimination


Resist getting upset when you are objectified or discriminated based on your gender. Oh, it’ll happen. Although most business people have evolved past treating women like trash, some haven’t. Working with new people, trying to get new clients, sitting through numerous meetings, conferences and whatnot, you’ll definitely meet those who’ll still treat you with disrespect. From physically objectifying you to calling your decisions and actions “irrational, emotional, haste, hectic” (or any other similarly offensive, gender-based adjective), you’ll be the target of external stupidity on a number of occasions. The best way to stay on top of it? Take away it's only power – your attention. Be bigger than anyone’s narrow-mindedness and discrimination, and stay focused on your goal.


Dealing With 4 Problems Impeding Your Progress

Somewhere during our college education, the training wheels for life come off, and it’s time to face the music of the real world.

This is where all the panic and constant anxiety storm in, as if that’s the only way to adjust to the upcoming challenges of independence and growth – what happens when you start a family? Should you get a mortgage? Do you really need a car? How about a vacation?

The irony of it all is that we are stuck in the future we cannot accomplish due to our present setbacks, and in order to remove them, we need to reframe our thoughts of our self-created destiny. Much like the proverbial hamster in the wheel, you will only continue worrying unless you take a different approach to things in life that matter most to you and your existence.


Fear of failure


The most common type of fear in life that affects your everyday decisions and choices is the dread that you will fail miserably at whatever you take on. Before you even consider tackling a challenge, you agonize over how well it will go, and if you will be able to meet everyone’s, including your own expectations. You don’t want to disappoint anyone, yourself included, and the fear of doing just that can be so overwhelming that you abandon some of your most essential stepping stones to growth.

It will take time, but you will need to shift your perspective of this little beast – failure is not your enemy, it’s your key to success. Rename it into a lesson, an experience, call it something positive instead of this hated word “failure”. Most importantly – fail on purpose! Build up your immunity by making less impactful mistakes in order to become more resilient when the time comes to learn from bigger mistakes in life.


Financial independence


If there’s one future-related fear all of us, mere mortals, share, that would be the prospect of becoming a burden to a loved one, both emotionally and financially. However, while we’re waiting for that age-reversing magic pill, there is so much you can do to shape your own silver years.

It’s this very moment that will define your old age, so define your career path, think of alternative work you can do in case you need a contingency, take the age pension income test to learn about your earning ability based on your current finances, and research retirement homes in your neighborhood. That way, you can create and fund your own retirement plan as soon as you start working, and sit back and enjoy the ride, because life shouldn’t be a sum of worries, but creating memories.


Lack of control


You know that wonderful serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. We often walk through life learning none of the three, and we spend our days living with the illusion of control, until life takes it away, one way or the other.

Whether we like it or not, future is uncertain, despite all of our predictions and efforts to tame it. Just like with your fear of failure, you need to let go of control or the illusion or it. Take the occasional leap of faith, don’t expect certainties or guarantees, but do your best to enjoy life’s experiences as much as possible. You will get much further in life with the ability to recognize opportunities instead of constantly seeing potential threats.


Worrying about the outcome


Goals are healthy, and an excellent growth tool when used correctly. However, sometimes we need to focus on taking baby steps and making smaller, short-term milestones happen, and take our eyes off the prize, so to speak.

If you focus too hard on the end result, you risk getting stuck in the future that still hasn’t happened at the cost of not living your present moment. Meditate, take a break, spend time with people you love, don’t cut out all pleasures in the rush to get somewhere, you might miss the most important lessons in life. In order to move forward in life, no matter the goal at hand, make sure you enjoy the journey as much as you look forward to the outcome, and growth will naturally occur.

How to Bring Out Your Inner Femme Fatale

Numbers are not an accurate depiction of your inner worth – the number on the scale, your bank account, birth certificate, among many others.

Defining your true allure lies in so much more than sheer quantity of your successful life conquests or your physical appearance, for that matter.

Still, while we’re bombarded with images of photo-shopped, seemingly perfect ladies on magazine covers, it’s no surprise that many girls struggle with low self-esteem and imposing unrealistic expectations on themselves. But there’s a Femme Fatale in each and every one of us just waiting to dazzle the world, and there are foolproof ways to unleash her and enjoy your refreshed confidence!


Authentic looks

You don’t have to wear a cocktail dress or high heels to suddenly transform yourself into a seductress with a captivating attitude. However, you can definitely use your wardrobe as a form of powerful self-expression. No matter if you prefer to keep it simple by wearing baggy pants or ripped jeans, combined with a pair of plain white sneakers or open-toed sandals, if you feel comfortable in your own skin and outfit, your attitude will reflect it.

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Have fun with your appearance! Experiment with different makeup to find out which colors and styles suit your complexion, and explore the endless varieties of trendy dresses, playsuits, and clothes in general. You don’t have to wear anything off-the-rack – you can also design your clothes, giving them a personal touch, or shop for unique items. Chose the hues and textures that flatter your figure and bring out your most attractive features!


Walk the Walk

If you are uncertain how to attract a man you like, you might be tempted to resort primarily to changing your looks. But that won’t keep him interested for long – men will notice if you are desperate for their attention and nothing drives a man away quite like a clingy, insecure woman. If your outfit is vibrant, wear it with pride and work on strengthening your confidence.

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Whatever the outcome of your man-hunt, their acceptance or rejection shouldn’t define you, and you should never question your self-worth. When on a love prowl, your self-assured attitude is your greatest asset. Nourish a positive mindset towards yourself, and others will pick up on that vibe, and you’ll find your match more easily.


Let your deeds do the talking

Self-confidence is not an isolated behavior or a situation-specific courage. It’s also not a complete lack of fear or imperfections, on the contrary, it’s your ability to embrace your flaws and continuously strive towards becoming a better, stronger person.

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Take it from the gorgeous, powerful Amber Heard whose generosity speaks volumes of her inner resilience, soulful substance and further empowers her allure. With her choices of actions and behavior, she defines herself against the odds of the over-sexualized industry, and presents a role model for women everywhere, letting us know that we can be attractive, wise, imperfect and generous at the same time.


Self-care comes first

Treating yourself as a top priority and your body as a temple, you immediately impose a high bar for those who wish to be a part of your life, romantically or otherwise. This by no means limits your ability to give, but those around you will understand they need to treat you with care and respect.

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Build your life around healthy choices, from a versatile diet, a well-designed fitness routine, to a skincare regime that will pamper and nourish your complexion for years to come. Guided by daily choices that safeguard your wellbeing, you will build up your confidence and simply glow with pride.


Show your smarts

Nurturing a wide selection of interests by staying in the loop with the latest events, continuously educating yourself on topics you care about, sharpening your communication skills and always staying open-minded towards change are just some of many ways to cultivate your intellect.

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A true femme fatale is everything but shallow or foolish – she is the master of character judging, sophisticated, self-aware and sharp. In the immortal words of Tom Jones, she’s a lady, in every sense of the word.

Enjoy this magnificent journey of self-empowerment and learn from Hollywood stars who boast not only the fatale looks but also a captivating intellect – and create your own killer combo that will knock your future man off his feet!

Amy | Contributor 

4 Things To Do When You Start Doubting Yourself

Am I doing this right? Am I good enough? What if it doesn't work?

We've all been at the point where we've hit a wall and start wondering if we've made the "right" decisions? When life seems to be handing you blow after blow and that inner voice starts creeping in to plant little seeds of doubt.

This happens to me when I've been working too much and too hard. Where I begin to feel overwhelmed by the endless amount of things that require my attention and my time. Followed by never feeling like I have enough of either.

When I'm this rundown, I'm at my weakest and sometimes my meanest when it comes to how I treat myself. These destructive thoughts start revealing themselves only to feed my self doubt.

When this starts happening here is what you can do to take back control over your own thoughts.



I actually learned this from my therapist and it's become a helpful tool to drown out the negative thoughts. I was telling her about how I bombed an audition and I wasn't feeling very good about myself, my capabilities, and started questioning if I should be doing this at all?

Her question to me, "What would you say to someone who said, 'Yeah, you're right, maybe you shouldn't be doing this. You gave it a shot and you just aren't good enough.' Would you believe them?" 

My reply, "Well first off who are they to tell me that? I've only been doing this for a brief period of time. This career choice takes a long time to see through. I'm working and competing with actors who have been at this a lot longer than me. Plus look at all I've accomplished in such a short amount of time!"

Turning the tables on yourself has squashed out many of my self-doubting tendencies and you can see why. The point of this is to think about how you would react if someone actually said to you all the mean things you are saying to yourself. I bet you start realizing the victories (even the small ones) you've managed to accomplish.



I've always told myself I never want to live with the regret of knowing I had the opportunity to do something I wanted to do but didn't take it. In the same breath, I also remember saying I hope I'm not going to wake up at 50 years old and regret making the decisions I've made. A true contradiction I know, I'm only human.

When fear of making the "right" choice starts creeping into my head I remember another point cleverly made by my therapist.

"I've had more people come to me full of regret over what they didn't do verses what they did do. So trust me when I say you're doing it right."

Now if anyone is gonna know regret and how it effects people we know damn well it'll be a therapist



When the road begins to get rough and you start loosing strength to keep yourself going remember why you started the journey to begin with. No matter where you are along the path to get to where you want to be you will be tested. You will fail, you will hit breaking points, you will start to loose your faith but if you remember why you started I guarantee you will find your momentum again.

Sometimes we all need a reminder why it's worth it.



Never underestimate the power of some good ole fashion SLEEP! I find after getting some much needed rest I'm able to easily push out the negative thoughts and feelings that arise when things get difficult. When you are rested you have the power and strength to see situations clearly without the "do or die" lens that an overworked mind sees.

The power of sleep isn't stressed enough. I know in today's society it's seen as a badge of honor that people operate off of less and less sleep but in all honesty it's proven that the less sleep you have the less productive you are. And trust me being productive is way more important than being busy.

I'm for sure guilty of being apart of Team No Sleep but I also notice that I don't operate as efficient as I do when I've gotten enough sleep. Getting enough sleep is still something I'm working on but we are making progress. 



Who is Cleo Wade?

The best thing about girl power is that over time it turns into woman power.
— Cleo Wade

Cleo Wade. The poet, author and artist. 

Well, we all seen her beautiful spoken words all over your Instagram, Pinterest and every social media outlet over the past few years. She’s been reposted by your favorite media outlets and your favorite celebrities. She has become the millennial voice affirmations on social media.  Her writing, accessible yet empowering, speaks to a greater future for all women, people of color, and the LGBTQ community, preaching love, acceptance, justice, peace, equity and equality.

We have posted her powerful messages on So She Slays social media outlets. 

Born in New Orleans and is now based out of New York. She has made her journey with her words and passion for helping others.  Her words have given readers the okay to feel better. She has been featured on Ted Talk.

Cleo, was recently in San Francisco promoting her new book Heart Talk. Her presence is beautiful beyond words. Not just her outside appearance (simply gorgeous) but her spirit was welcoming, and her words flowed so beautifully. 


I have been captivated by Cleo Wade. Her presence, voice and wise beyond her year's aura. She has become one of the important for voices for my generation. She has found a way to deliver a message of unity, self-love, and social action. 

The best advice I can give to you is to follow her Instagram.Her work is blended with “...empowering messages, blending simplicity with positivity, femininity and arresting honesty.”



Here are a few of my favorite: 

Have you been captivated by Cleo Wade? 

Share your favorite quotes below!

Here's What You Don't Know About Ice Cream

Everybody loves ice cream, but how much do you actually know about it?

Yes, we all know that it tastes heavenly, and for some, that’s all they need to know, right? Well just in case the taste isn't enough here are some fun facts that I bet you probably didn’t know before.



Love waffle cones? You might find it interesting that it was first used in 1904 at the St. Louis World's Fair, when an ice cream vendor ran out of cardboard dishes. A traveling salesman suggested that they use rolled waffles made by another nearby vendor, which they did, and their customers loved it. However, the edible ice cream cone was mentioned even before that, in the 1888 Mrs. Marshall’s Cookbook. The recipe stated that “the cornets were made with almonds and baked in the oven, not pressed between irons”.

Ice pops, on the other hand, came to be in 1923, but the inventor said that he created them even earlier, in 1905, when he accidentally left a glass of soda with a mixing stick in it on his porch during a very cold night.

No one really knows for sure who invented ice cream itself. Some say Emperor Nero is said to have enjoyed mixing fruit and honey with snow. Then, there is Marco Polo who is believed to had brought ice cream to Europe from China. And of course, the Chinese used to mix flavored snow with rice and milk in order to create this delicious dessert. Regardless of who came up with it, the one thing we can all agree on is that we are glad they did.

This might not come as a surprise but back in the day, ice cream used to be a rare and exotic treat only the rich could enjoy due to the price of the imported ingredients and the way of storing it. It stayed that way until the late 19th century when cheap refrigeration became more available.

When it comes to the sundaes, the name actually does have something to do with Sunday. Ice cream sodas used to be a very popular drink that could be bought at any soda shop. However, religious leaders forbid the stores to sell it on Sundays because drinking sodas on that day was considered immoral. So, naturally, the stores retaliated by using syrup instead of soda and changed the name to “sundae” to avoid upsetting the religious leaders even more.



In terms of the flavors, the most popular ice cream flavor is...not chocolate. Believe it or not, it's vanilla that seems to be most people’s favorite flavor. Not a fan of either? Well there are plenty of unusual ones like raw horse flesh, salt, octopus, lobster, and even ghost pepper, which actually requires you to sign a waiver in order to try it, that might spark your interest.

Also, if you're allergic to some of ice cream's common ingredients but still want to enjoy this cold treat, there is a great ice cream store that offers many dairy-free, egg-free, and gluten-free options.

Fun fact, it might be expected that most people enjoy ice cream during summer, but in Canada, people actually buy more ice cream in winter! Yep, in Canada there’s no such thing as too cold for ice cream. Canada is also famous for making the biggest ice cream sundae ever, which weighed almost 25 tons and had 63 different flavors.



If you’re looking for something “less icy”, consider frying your ice cream. Yes, there is such a thing as a fried ice cream; it is made from a scoop of ice cream that is first rolled in cornflakes or cookie crumbs and then quickly deep-fried. This creates a warm, crispy shell while the ice cream in the middle stays nicely cold. There are many other ways of serving ice cream as well. Germany, for instance, has “spaghettieis” – an ice cream dish that looks like spaghetti.


Ice cream is much more than a delicious cold treat – it has a history, tradition, varieties of flavor, and many different ways of serving it. And now after learning all of these fun facts, you will surely enjoy it even more.

How dating has changed with the #MeToo movement

On January 7th, 2018 Oprah's Golden Globes speech gave us life. It wasn’t long into Oprah’s monologue that we were all crying with such overwhelmingly beautiful emotion, hopeful that, indeed, “a new day is on the horizon!”

This magnificent, powerful, bigger-than-life black woman reminded us why we should celebrate the awakening we are now living, why we should be proud of what we’ve achieved, how far we’ve come and what all we deserve. Her speech – so powerful and honest – made us put things into perspective, open our eyes before the absolute truth and see the injustice, disrespect, humiliation and lies we were victims of for decades.

In the manner of her standard intellectual and emotional magnitude, she celebrated the weak, the strong, the rich and poor, the brave, the unnamed and named, she celebrated the beauty of truth. She celebrated women “who have endured years of abuse and assault because they, like my mother, had children to feed and bills to pay and dreams to pursue”.

Once again, Oprah reminded us that tyrants, bullies and predators aren’t welcome in our realities, that we’re bigger and stronger and way more powerful than they are. “Their time is up!”, she chanted as the Hollywood glitterati, untied in the same thought and emotion, chanted along. “For too long, women have not been heard or believed if they dared to speak their truth to the power of those men. But their time is up. Their time is up!” She spoke, and the whole world cried with bittersweet optimism and strength. On January 7th, 2018 Oprah's Golden Globes speech gave us life. And, as Ellen DeGeneres so wholeheartedly observed, “George Washington may be the Father of our country but Oprah is the Mother of our country”. We can only move forward from here.


The fear

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Raised in a culture that was predominantly favorable to the male population, women have long been shunned away, disrespected, (ab)used, threatened and made quiet – verbally or with physical violence. For long, these same women were afraid to say “No” to men for a number of reasons: some were afraid of losing their jobs, their families, they were afraid of being judged by their immediate or external society circle, they were afraid of being thrown out in the street, or – ironically – they hoped things would change.

“No” has long been an unacceptable answer from a woman (to a man)… and men? They were getting comfortable with having it their way, always. However, now that women are finally breaking free, and their anguish and difficult truths are being acknowledged by the public (and – the bullies are being punished), the males are getting confused. The world is no longer their dominion, it’s everyones. Now, everyone has the right to be, to live free of fear, to be appreciated and respected. The “No” has become final.


The fault in our generalization


Not all men are abusers, nor are all women victims – and opting for a generalization so strong and underserved can only do us harm – both men and women. Not all men are the enemy, some men are. And those some men are the reason of our #metoo.

The men we (used to) fear, the men that (used to) make us feel disposable, invaluable, vulnerable, unworthy. Those same men who may have sisters, and wives and daughters, and potentially treat them with the same disgusting disrespect they humiliated us with. THOSE are the men who should suffer the consequences of our decades-lasting anger, our embarrassment and hurt hearts. For us and those other women that have been victims of either verbal or physical abuse, for our sisters, we raise a voice in hope things will change and there’ll finally be an end put to this disgrace.

As for the good men – the men who deserve our absolute respect, love and support – let’s leave them out of the equation. All the wonderful husbands and fathers, the brave and fearless men of the military, the great doctors and field workers, the honest teachers and help workers…. let’s leave them be the heroes of our everyday, and continually prove they are rightfully worthy of our respect.


The dating

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The dating scene is already as complicated as it is, and the #metoo movement seems to have made it even more complicated (if possible).

Now that the mood has changed, the dialogue needs to change, too. Although couple counseling, honesty and open communication are the first communication tools we should go to in these times of change, what we all need, above everything else, is the collective willingness to change. In past few years popularization of neuro-linguistic programming is inevitable, because of this one thing - we need to learn how to talk to each other again.

On one hand, as the final days of male absolutism approach, the climate is shifting from “She’s rejecting me ‘cos she likes the chase” to a “She’s rejecting me, so I guess I should back off”, and men are gradually (and finally!) learning the seriousness of a woman’s “No”.

On the other hand, women seem very angry for having to put up with being humiliated, abused and ill-treated for as long as they have, so they are screaming a “No” at the top of their lungs both when called and uncalled for, which is creating a very unsettling dating climate.

Sitting in a bar, men are thinking: “I like her so much, but should I go over there and risk being accused of making sexual advances after putting my hand around her waist or complimenting her hair?”; looking at the men around, at that same bar, women are thinking “I look great tonight… why isn’t anyone coming over?”. Everyone’s afraid of what next is going to happen. Women are afraid they’ll be taken advantage of (even when men aren’t targeting it), and men are afraid of being accused of taking advantage of someone (even when they never intended it).

,Adjusting to this shift will take time and education: for men, to believe a woman when she says “No”, and for women – not to abuse the power of their “No”.


Final thoughts

Men, don’t be the disgusting examples of why #metoo movement had to happen in the first place. Women, don’t be girls who cried wolf and managed to trivialize everything #metoo essentially stands for. Let’s all evolve in the right direction and be the “leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say 'me too' again.”

5 Tips to Organize Your Workspace and Stay Productive

Did you know that the condition of your workspace affects your productivity? Well, working in a messy and cluttered space can negatively affect your work, keep you distracted and even create a negative vibe.

Some people say that they work best when surrounded by a “creative mess”, but most of the time, they are just too lazy to tidy up. So, don’t let your files, papers, office supplies and empty cups of coffee take a hold of your workspace, but take a look at these five easy tips that will help you become and stay organized and productive.




The first step to keeping your office clean is very simple: just don’t keep too many things inside! However, this is often easier said than done and is especially hard for people who love to be surrounded by things. But, forget about your hoarding habits and take a good look around your office. Take each thing and ask yourself: “Does this absolutely need to be here?” Pay special attention to books, magazines, decoration, photos, supplies, food and drink. If an item is not essential to your office, remove it for good. Another great tip for keeping your office clean is to have a trash can at hand and place it in a spot where you can easily and quickly reach it.


Minimize the flood of paper


If every inch of your desk is covered in paper, it’s time to minimize the incoming paper flood as much as possible. The best way to start is to cancel all unnecessary subscriptions and stop using that many memos and paper reports. Every time you can, opt for doing work without a hard copy. Another way to clean piles of paper is to get a scanner and turn everything into digital data.


Create work zones


One pro way to improve your office organization is to divide your office into different work zones. For instance, sometimes you just need to change things up a bit to spark the productivity and creativity. So, if you have enough space in your office, try to create two separate stations—one for computer work and one for non-computer work. This works because you can keep distractions away and achieve better organization. Don’t clutter your computer area with papers, envelopes and stamps, and make sure to keep gadgets away from your non-computer area.


Organize your desk and computer



Probably the best way to be more productive and focused is to keep your work desk organized. Your desk is constantly in front of your eyes and it’s something you can’t really turn your back to and ignore. So, make sure to organize everything in your files, trays and stationeries. This is where the plastic and storage organizers come into play. You don’t need an expensive stationery tray to organize your ballpoint pens. Simply take some plain storage boxes (both big and small), beautify them and use them to your advantage. Your computer should also be organized. Start by deleting all folders, documents, pictures and programs you don’t use and need. Then, organize the things you actually need into different (clearly labeled) folders and use digital calendars and reminders to help you stay organized and productive.  

Stay on track

Once you clean out and organize your office, make sure to never let it become cluttered again. The best way to do so is to clean up a little every day. Set aside five minutes at the end of the day to tidy up and throw away the garbage. This will signal your brain that the work day is over and tomorrow, you’ll come to a clean and organized office.

A clean and decluttered office will certainly make you more productive, focused and creative. So, roll up your sleeves, start cleaning up and do something good for yourself and your business.

Trying To Find A Balance In the Morning

The morning rush for work is now a part of my daily life. I can wake up early but hit the snooze button at least a few more times before I force myself out of bed.  

Before you judge me, my alarm goes off around 5:40 am because I have a long commute.  So I need to leave for work early. I wish I could be the girl who could wake up early and go to the gym. Every night I tell myself I will go workout in the morning, but that's in Gods Plan, so I force myself to go after work. 

Over the past few years, I have gotten it down to a science on how I can get up and make some moves to work. I do not want to feel pressure in the morning, so I keep my routine at a minimal. 


Night time routine:

  • Gym, Shower, Dinner
  • Pack my gym bag
  • Write in my Passion Planner to schedule my daily tasks, goals and meetings
  • Stretch and check blog emails, post on social media outlets--while having my diffuser on to relax 
  • Pass out 

Morning Routine



  • Roll out of bed and make it up. Yes, I have to make up my bed before I leave the house. (Shout- out to my mom for making that habit). 
  • Jump in the shower and thinking about my outfit for work. 
  • Watch the Golden Girls while getting dressed (secret obsession) 
  • Make a quick smoothie 

Out the door! I have become a multitasker and can get out the house in less than 40 mins. My nighttime routine helps me feel better about the next day goals, and I won't feel rush. I do not want to feel pressure in the morning, so I keep my routine at a minimal.

What are the routines that help you?!