“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”… it certainly is, at least for women.
On one hand (and on the surface of things) we’re given everything; but, when you dig a little deeper, things aren’t as glorious as they appear to be. It’s a contradiction, really - this whole gender thing. What we are currently living isn’t feminism in its absolute… it’s an active oppression of the female role in the male-run society.
Raw emotion and thought
“For mad I may be, but I will never be convenient.”
― Jennifer Donnelly, Revolution
The core of every healthy feminist approach isn’t to be better than the man, fear the man or prove the man wrong. It certainly isn’t to exhaust yourself to a point you’ll be your own demise just to prove yourself worthy to a society that doesn’t – and may never – see you as worthy. The core concept of feminism is equality. Equality in emotion, thought and opportunity. Equality in living and breathing, and fighting the same battles as men, the battles that bless you with a certain social standing, a chance at life you dream of and love you hope to find. It isn’t necessarily about women chopping woods or men wearing eyeliners, either. It’s about the possibility and the opportunity to choose. To choose life, in all its beauty. To live freely and speak – unprejudiced or judged. To be respected for your thoughts. To be a person, not a weak gender link. Men, do understand this: we have never aimed to beat you at anything. What we have always wanted was to just play alongside you.
A woman is a woman is a woman
“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, “She doesn’t have what it takes.” They will say, “Women don’t have what it takes.”
– Clare Boothe Lucе
The prejudice is real, for women at least. While we have progressed and made things work for us in every aspect possible (at least the ones we could have had any influence on), we are still boxed in and categorized to fit the expectations of the patriarchy – have children, cook, clean and be a good wife. Sure, if you want to be the CEO, be the CEO but make sure you are also “a woman”. Even though most women have managed to distance themselves from the stock expectations and formed a reality that agrees with their sensibilities (i.e. built careers but haven’t produced children or vice versa), a sense of being not good enough (for the patriarchy) still lingers about. This is why actively critiqued and judged for their lifestyle choices, most women often experience various stages of anxiety and depression, significantly lowering the quality of their lives. Luckily, professionals established online counseling focused on providing mental and emotional counseling for women in need, depending on the problems they are facing as well as the types of their personalities. We are strong, but we do need a breather and an objective perspective from time to time.
The weak link
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
– Katharine Hepburn
With the current state of things, everyone’s confused. Men are no longer sole providers or husbands whose income conditions their partner’s lives. Women can do all that, alone. In a technical sense of a word, it’s become evident that men have grown obsolete. This, along with plenty of other facts, brought about a very unsettling climate - not only in terms of gender roles but relationships altogether. We get it: you don’t know where you stand, so you attack. But, listen to this: while we no longer need you to change the bulb, we do need you to love us, give us families and share our happiness – just as much as you need us to do the same for you.
Here’s an idea: instead of judging us, support us. Embrace our strength and turn it to your advantage. Don’t be scared we’ll love you less if we earn more because we won’t. We’ll love and appreciate you for having chosen a strong woman over your (strong) ego. Work with us, not against us. We, as strong as we are, are the reason you can sleep rested at night, knowing your home will never be without an income. Growing this strong we’ve made your lives easier, don’t you get it? You can finally just… be, be liberated from the expectations the society has burdened YOU with, too. So, let just be for a second, together and united. We are on the same side. We are one.