Did I Just Screw This Up?

Everyone has asked that question to themselves several times when it comes to work, life and relationships. 

Sadly, at this moment I am that girl. I am currently crushing on someone, and I feel like I screwed it up. Honestly, I did nothing wrong, but in my head I did. You know when you are first talking to someone you try to get to know it each other, go on a date, text and all that lovely stuff. You text regularly, and everything is going great and guess what. 

Plot Twist- life happens, people have individual experiences, and you gotta go back to the real world. The texting slows down, and people are dealing with everyday struggles. I am usually the busy one when it comes to the dating game. I am the one who controls the time, texting and all that stuff. But guess what I am dating an adult not a boy. I usually play the hard to get game, but this time I try to be there for my crushes needs and be that support system.  

But now I doubt myself; did I try to be that support system to hard? Should've played the hard to get game super strong? Well, ladies; the way my mind has gone into multiple directions about the if, could've would've there is no correct answer. 

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After talking to one of my best friends; I realized I did what was best at the time. I showed support when my crush needed to hear at the time. Honestly, if my crush didn't appreciate me being that support system-- well fuck that. Because I am a good person, who cared and was there. I know he likes me and cares about me, but I wished he showed as he did a few weeks ago. I hate the feeling of looking at my phone waiting for a damn text. I am NOT that girl. I was the girl who never texted you first! I was THAT girl; how I miss that girl.

Well, now I am going let him reach out to me. Like my mom said ‘Let the dog chase the cat.'

Sadly, dating is a game at first, and we gotta stay true to ourselves. I go back and forth wandering did screw this up by acting caring at first- but what my crush was dealing with at the time I would want someone to reach out to me. 

So, no at the end I don't think I screwed it up. I know everything is going work out.  Sometimes you gotta type things out to realize how twisted, overthinking, game playing dating honestly can be for a young woman in 2017. 

Real MF talk-- stay faithful to your game girl and slay always.