Dating isn't an easy topic to discuss for anyone. I've never been very good at it. Not that I'm horrible in relationships. I just tend to be in relationships that I shouldn't be in.
But when I talk to my friends about dating it's interesting because as someone who is biracial I find that I ask questions and deal with situations that most of my friends don't deal with. Like when I'm interested in someone I always think, "Will they be able to get along and feel comfortable with both sides of my family?"
Now true most everyone has that "family" question. But for me I think in two drastically different situations. One side of my family is Caucasian, from the south, grew up on a farm, country music loving, all Americans. And the other side is pretty traditional Chinese. They aren't strict Chinese, as in you must marry a nice Chinese boy, but there are some hardcore values, beliefs, and customs that you would expect from a family that immigrated to the U.S. in the late 60s from Hong Kong.
I take great pride in both sides of my family no matter how drastic their differences are. But because I happily straddle the biracial line it does make it challenging to find someone to be okay straddling the line with me.
In my experience I tend to find one over the other. As in they are way more comfortable with one side of my family then they are with the other. And for me that's hard to deal with because I love all sides of my family, even the sides that I don't completely understand. And trust me sometimes I really wonder -I mean that in the most loving way possible.
But it's just like WHY?!
Why is it so difficult to be accepting of a multicultural family? It's 2016 people! Why does it always have to come down to, "I feel really outta place" when we are celebrating Chinese New Year with my family? Or what exactly do you mean when you say "Wow, you're family is really white." I know these are minor comments but they are things I've heard before from men I've been interested in.
And although they are pretty harmless it does stop me in my tracks each time. Because to me it's almost like saying there is something wrong. And me being the overprotective person I am I get defensive.
All I want is for them to embrace the differences, see the beauty, and sometimes the hilarity in it. Honestly I really don't think that's a lot to ask for.
So I've decided as I navigate this world of relationships and love I'm taking you along with me. I know I'm not the only biracial chick going through these issues but I certainly don't hear enough stories about it. So to fix this I'm making "Dating Biracial" a series post on So She Slays. For all y'all (that's my mom's southern accent coming out) to relate to and share.