Well hello, dear friends.
Yes, I have been Single Shamed. Yes, this is a real thing.
We all have been that friend who has been the only single friend out your group. It happens and its perfectly fine. Trust me! We all been shamed from friends, work, and family. You know the one co-worker who loves to talk about their "amazing, beautiful relationship' and upcoming wedding. NO ONE CARES! The shaming from family especially grandparents and cousins who ask "so are you dating?" Luckily, my family is pretty calm about this.
A few months ago; this wonderful single shame occurrence happen to me. By the way, this isn't the first time by this particular individual in this girl group. (I will not mention any names, but you know who you are) I was invited to go to a brunch with my girls. I already knew they would’ve brought their boyfriends with them. It's kind of common knowledge they will be there, and trust me I like their boyfriends. So in my head, I was down for being the single girl. But wait I was wrong. The girls in the group kept texting me saying wait just to let you know if you want to bring someone because it will all be coupled, please bring someone! Umm.. at first I was like whatever, and then it kept happening that whole week full of little hints. I finally said ‘Nope, I am good why bring food to a buffet.” Which means why bring some random guy to allegedly make me feel comfortable where it's a possible chance I will meet a wonderful man at the brunch spot. Moral of the story, I had a great time at the brunch place, talked to a few cute guys and had the best brunch!
Seriously, Single Shaming is real. Trust me; I would love to meet a nice guy and be in a relationship, but right now it's not my time. I just know I don't want to waste my time just to date for the sake of dating. I do get tired of my girlfriends who are in relationships to be like well are you dating, blah blah. It's fun once in awhile to gossip on the guys we are dating, but can we discuss other things besides my love life. Trust me I am not the ‘career driven friend’; which gets the bad rap. I am goal oriented in my career, but I am also focusing on being a better person. I don't need a relationship to define me.
But seriously while I vent...NO ONE SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BAD OR UNEASY FOR BEING SINGLE. Girl, go to that lunch by yourself, go to that movie as the fifth wheel, make the moves at the bar. While your friends are worrying about who should they swipe right on, or why isn't their man isn't answering their texts; you will be laying down easy knowing no one is making you go crazy.
How do you handle being in this situation?
Slay on, C