I was originally never going to do online dating just because I thought I’d meet someone genuinely through friends or outings. After some time, some friends convinced me to give it a try. There were no game plans. I was testing out the water out to see how it went. If it worked, great, if it didn’t, that was okay too.
I did OKCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel. OKCupid was better for me because there was more interaction with a person after you both match and no expiration time of chatting. The one thing you really have to do is filter out all the messages because there are some that were automated, yes.. same response word for word from the same person from two different apps! You know that person is already not genuine. Then, there were some others that were all about Netflix and chill and not about getting to know someone to be in a relationship.
There were a lot of conversations on OKCupid to see if there were similar interests or there was potential. The phone number was only given out if there was potential. No need for weirdos texting you all day.
There are always hits and misses:
- A guy told me he was 5’11, seemed cool and decided to meet up for ice cream. It turns out he was shorter than me. I’m only 5’8 and wear 1.5’ booties. Nice guy but it was so awkward when he, was a lot shorter than me. Also tried too hard to be cool talking about tats and adventures when you can tell he’s not that type.
- The guy is busy working in the ER at the front desk and wasn’t able to meet up for about a month because of our schedules. Talked and text on the phone and it was all great conversation. Finally met up and there just wasn’t sparks. Doesn’t help that he didn’t look like the photos posted.
- I had no particular type in physicality; this one was bit bigger but sweetest heart. We were dating for about a month. We went to movies, dinners, Sharks game but something was missing. There was never a single time that we held hands or kissed. I wanted him to make moves, but it didn’t happen. Also, it was weird that we didn’t talk to each other every day, just the day before plans were made to confirm it was still happening. The last date with him was make or break if moves were made, none. Onto the next.
- The Official Boyfriend- I will refer to him as C. He comes into my life. We hit it off on the app conversation. I asked if he was lying about his height, 6’9, because of my history of a guy lying. He wasn’t lying. He told me he knew it was working out because he would be sarcastic and I would be the same back. This was different from the last because we talked to each other every day. First, the date came, and it lasted 4 hours. 2.5 hours was pure chatter before we ordered food. I’m sure our waitress hated us. When the date ended, he made a move and kissed me. Yes, a man that made the first move, finally. Second, a date was Jack London Square walking the docks, looking over the water, and it felt like a movie because it started raining when we kissed. It was only 7 and it was too early to call it a night so we went bowling at a spot nearby. All dates were wonderful and after about a month, we made it official. It’s nice to know that family and friends like C so much better than the terrible ex I had and can see that I am so much happier.
Some friends have success after a short time one there; others are giving it another shot. You just have to be open-minded to do it because if you’re not fully into trying it, might as well not. You’ll be nipping all the buds too early before something can bloom with someone.
--as told to So She Slays.
This article is a part of our series The Online Dating Experience.